:'(

it's 1 in the morning, a wednesday morning. just showered, and i don't really want to go sleep yet. not that i'm not tired, but i just want the moments that happened today to stay fresh alittle longer in my mind.

earlier today was my last day at YB. a 3 to 10pm shift, my schedule was pretty much booked up due to training most of my clients for one last time before i go away for some time. the only break i had was 4-5, and when i finished training TK, i saw in the schedule book that i needed to see my boss. thought maybe he had something for me to do but then we just ended chatting for a while. so at about 4:30 i was walking out to check on the floor and stuff when then i was called back into the trainer's room... and the staff had a cake for me...! DJ brought it in and FL gave me a gym bag with lots of goodies in there... and the best part was that there was a card for me signed by the staff with different messages from each of them... i was filled with such mixed emotions i didn't know what to feel, all i knew was that i didn't wanna cry.

As i carried on throughout the day with clients, different staff walked up to me to give me hugs and goodbyes as they took off for the night, like xan, DJ, Jon... VB even waited for me for 1/2 hr so i could finish my training just to give me a hug. and Hong gave me some egg tarts. even members. i felt bits and pieces of sadness and sweetness.

after work AP and Regula were still sticking around, so we decided to go out for dinner. went to the chinese place on irving since that's the only place we knew was open late, and we had so much food. by the time we were done, it was past 12 and it's been a long time since i hanged out with my friends till late. i realized how much i miss it, and i love the feeling of hanging out with them. and they treated me dinner. i didn't know what to feel except that i didn't really want the day and night to end.

but now i know what i'm feeling. it's sadness of parting something that i enjoyed so much doing, with the people in it whom make it so so much wonderful. it's realizing the happiness i have in working with the people there and with that looking forward to seeing them each day and week has been taken for granted this past year. and now realization hits me that i'm officially ending this part of the journey, i realize that i can never be prepared for this even though i see it coming. i'm never good at leaving somewhere, someplace, someone... all these years, it is still the same.

and now i'm waiting to see, with puffy eyes, what's the next part of my journey.

okok, so it's almost end of July... and it's almost end of alot of things for me on my side. and of course, the start of many as well...

moved out of willits and into ellis. it's a really nice place here, even though there's so much crap on my part all around the house. the past year i feel as though i'm grown 10 years older instead of 1, so i'm actually glad to leave behind the 'days of our lives' series in the old place. if you don't know, that means drama that doesn't involve me but around me that can be annoying. i'm pretty much done with other people's silly girly problems.

living with someone else can be really be challenging. but situations like this really help to understand each other better. and also to make you a better person because you realize how much crap you can have in your own life and personality that people around you don't really have to tolerate if they don't love you. and so i pray to God that He will help others to bear with me.

leaving Club One next week. looking back all the way till now, i can say it's such a wonderful experience. i feel as though i've got a family there and it sucks knowing that everything is finally coming together and i have to leave. Bittersweet.