in a blink of an eye i'm back in HK, even though my bottom is still sore from sitting down too much on the plane.
it feels pretty good coming back, winter this year is not as cold as last year. i haven't got a chance to look at the city lights yet but i'm dying to. skylights in HK are beautiful, bringing the city to life in the darkness. i caught a glimsp of the island while flying into the airport, and it's quite amazing how pretty this place i spent some years as a little kid is.
before i came back to HK i have a whole list down of all the things i want to do, to eat, to buy, to visit... but now i'm back, i feel that i just want to see all my family and relatives. it has always been tough to get the whole family together, and for once this opportunity is here for us to do so. somehow everything on my list seems secondary now...
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Friday, December 10, 2004
Christmas is here. or at least all the shopping stores are bombarding the city with christmas trees and lights and songs and santa clauses and christmas decorations and sales which bring christmas to us much earlier than before. for once i'm feeling the stress many people are having right now, spending money to buy the right gifts.
it's actually quite a enjoyable experience. last week after work i met chia in downtown to go for christmas shopping for my family. it's been so long since i last saw them for christmas, i don't even remember whether i was old enough before to know to buy gifts for my family when we were still spending christmas together. but it was pretty fun, we were at banana republic picking out stuff for them even with the time constraint of the store closing hours. the thought of giving the gifts to them is funny... will i feel weird giving gifts to them? will they like it? i guess if they don't like it i'll take them for myself... haha. it's the thought that counts afterall.
but that means i'm going back to HK really soon. 10 days to go. yestereday i was talking to this other trainer who's about the same age as i am and so we were at that stage of transition between school and work, and i realized that this trip back home will decide a lot of things for me, the coming near future. what will happen next year?
i must admit i had a little fear tingling up my spine when i thought about that each time, but last night i received a christmas card from virginia which made me smile and surprisingly, calm those tingling fear sensations. knowing that someone is praying for me for God's direction in my life allows me to feel that i can handle anything that comes along my way. that's how it's always been, God directing my life. how can i forget? He has brought me to where i am today, and who i am, He'll continue to guide if i don't lose sight of His step... how can i forget?
Have faith.
it's actually quite a enjoyable experience. last week after work i met chia in downtown to go for christmas shopping for my family. it's been so long since i last saw them for christmas, i don't even remember whether i was old enough before to know to buy gifts for my family when we were still spending christmas together. but it was pretty fun, we were at banana republic picking out stuff for them even with the time constraint of the store closing hours. the thought of giving the gifts to them is funny... will i feel weird giving gifts to them? will they like it? i guess if they don't like it i'll take them for myself... haha. it's the thought that counts afterall.
but that means i'm going back to HK really soon. 10 days to go. yestereday i was talking to this other trainer who's about the same age as i am and so we were at that stage of transition between school and work, and i realized that this trip back home will decide a lot of things for me, the coming near future. what will happen next year?
i must admit i had a little fear tingling up my spine when i thought about that each time, but last night i received a christmas card from virginia which made me smile and surprisingly, calm those tingling fear sensations. knowing that someone is praying for me for God's direction in my life allows me to feel that i can handle anything that comes along my way. that's how it's always been, God directing my life. how can i forget? He has brought me to where i am today, and who i am, He'll continue to guide if i don't lose sight of His step... how can i forget?
Have faith.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
the past two days i was faced with a challenge of giving an orientation to a member with a special need in exercise programming - she's conceived and in her second trimester. i got to know of this challenge on hand when i walked into the gym on tuesday, and it was such a weird feeling - i was both excited and freaking out at the same time, excited that it's so different from all the other orientations i have done, and freaking out because it's a completely different training situation i have yet to learn much about. so i engaged myself in some intense research, somesort like a self-learn crash course about pregnancy for the past two days, talking to different trainers and others so much that if felt as though i was the one pregnant. but it's so cool learning all the body's mechanics from a different situation and perspective. when a real life situation i have never experienced dropped on me like a bomb it just hit me all over and made me realize... how much more to learn each day. i'm gonna read alot more books on pregnancy from now on - my work helps me remember my need to keep learning. learning in my area of expertise, learning in simple things in life that many times try to whip me upside down, many times.
read stel's blog earlier on which made me realize the need to learn from stages in life. going through stuff and things like that. things like the past and the present and the future and happiness and anxiety and etc. somehow many times i feel that i think quite differently compared to others my age. don't know why. but guess it's not a bad thing cause the good and bad experiences i went through whipped me into who i am today, and i'm pretty happy about myself. if happiness doesn't come from within, then where else can you find it? you certainly can't dive into someone else's happiness hoping it will make you happy because it won't, it's not yours. happiness spreads around by sharing and in order to do that, you have to own it within yourself first.
sounds kinda deep but it's quite simple afterall. crap happens, so well just do the best. just do my best i guess, i'm really talking all these to myself, really. somehow i can see lots of things coming up for me to face when i get back to HK in... 18 days?
read stel's blog earlier on which made me realize the need to learn from stages in life. going through stuff and things like that. things like the past and the present and the future and happiness and anxiety and etc. somehow many times i feel that i think quite differently compared to others my age. don't know why. but guess it's not a bad thing cause the good and bad experiences i went through whipped me into who i am today, and i'm pretty happy about myself. if happiness doesn't come from within, then where else can you find it? you certainly can't dive into someone else's happiness hoping it will make you happy because it won't, it's not yours. happiness spreads around by sharing and in order to do that, you have to own it within yourself first.
sounds kinda deep but it's quite simple afterall. crap happens, so well just do the best. just do my best i guess, i'm really talking all these to myself, really. somehow i can see lots of things coming up for me to face when i get back to HK in... 18 days?
Sunday, November 14, 2004
just finished dinner. not that great but good enough. and for once i'm so stuff that i can't finish everything. i think it's worth to be written down and recorded.
a slow day at the gym today, but i had a great time training my client whom i've not seen for 3 weeks. and i trained him well! he was telling me that he was doing some workout on his own while he was away but when i placed him through MY training he was feeling it... that difference of holding his abs in exhaustion at the end of my ab work out for him. i am no dumb trainer so i won't kill my clients but i love it when clients feel a difference when trainers bring them to the next level. yes!
but other than that, things were still slow at the gym today... but this guy who's in his late 40's was there again and man, i'm starting to get annoyed with him. not that he's a jerk or anything, but just someone who needs a little more... attention. a few weeks ago while i was on my shift, my boss asked me to go to the floor and interact with members and especially this guy who didn't seem to know what he's doing, just to make sure he doesn't kill himself yanking on the weights. yes that's him. so i went up to him and said something like "hey i've never seen you around before, i'm connie and blah blah blah..." blah blah blah were probably the last three words i said because the rest of the conversation belonged to him. and he talked and talked and talked and laughed and talked and i don't know what for an hour...! he was basically pouring his whole life out infront of me and i really didn't know what to do. couldn't turn away someone who said was going through depression but i didn't really want to know about his nights at the bar and days getting drunk to get over his ex and wanting to work out to get more attractive and stuff like that. arghh. in the end i was able to round the conversation back to working out so i survived. he came back a few times at different days to the gym after that and i'm glad i was busy with clients, because he seemed to want to talk somemore with nothing much related to fitness. he was leaving the gym today and i was at the front desk helping out and he stopped to chat nothing with me, but he popped in a "we'll eat together sometime eh?" out of nowhere. OH MY GOSH i almost puked except there's no food in my stomach. instead i said "ha-ha see you next time you come in!" can't believe it! and even if he's slightly un-ugly looking i'll still have shivers down my spine. bleehh.
oh gee saying all that is not helping my stomach, especially now it's stuff. tea needed.
a slow day at the gym today, but i had a great time training my client whom i've not seen for 3 weeks. and i trained him well! he was telling me that he was doing some workout on his own while he was away but when i placed him through MY training he was feeling it... that difference of holding his abs in exhaustion at the end of my ab work out for him. i am no dumb trainer so i won't kill my clients but i love it when clients feel a difference when trainers bring them to the next level. yes!
but other than that, things were still slow at the gym today... but this guy who's in his late 40's was there again and man, i'm starting to get annoyed with him. not that he's a jerk or anything, but just someone who needs a little more... attention. a few weeks ago while i was on my shift, my boss asked me to go to the floor and interact with members and especially this guy who didn't seem to know what he's doing, just to make sure he doesn't kill himself yanking on the weights. yes that's him. so i went up to him and said something like "hey i've never seen you around before, i'm connie and blah blah blah..." blah blah blah were probably the last three words i said because the rest of the conversation belonged to him. and he talked and talked and talked and laughed and talked and i don't know what for an hour...! he was basically pouring his whole life out infront of me and i really didn't know what to do. couldn't turn away someone who said was going through depression but i didn't really want to know about his nights at the bar and days getting drunk to get over his ex and wanting to work out to get more attractive and stuff like that. arghh. in the end i was able to round the conversation back to working out so i survived. he came back a few times at different days to the gym after that and i'm glad i was busy with clients, because he seemed to want to talk somemore with nothing much related to fitness. he was leaving the gym today and i was at the front desk helping out and he stopped to chat nothing with me, but he popped in a "we'll eat together sometime eh?" out of nowhere. OH MY GOSH i almost puked except there's no food in my stomach. instead i said "ha-ha see you next time you come in!" can't believe it! and even if he's slightly un-ugly looking i'll still have shivers down my spine. bleehh.
oh gee saying all that is not helping my stomach, especially now it's stuff. tea needed.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
using the IBM laptop right now. my unrealiable compac has finally died on me, at least that's how it seems to be reacting whenever i try to switch it on. it was going crazy for awhile, freezing and hanging for whatever reasons and whenever it likes, just plainly driving me nuts. but the past few days it was doing more so and i finally thought it's good to start transferring my files onto my pen drive, just in case. i had most of my pictures saved up a few days ago and today, when i decided to transfer the rest of the stuff i have on my compac laptop, it won't even let me into the system. and i'm no computer genius, so pressing hard on "on" and "off" a dozen times doesn't help much, just a sore finger that may need taping up later. oh well. at least i saved the pictures, which i am extremely happy about. the rest of the stuff are mainly my kin classwork, i guess i can live without it? just an excuse as lame as "my dog ate my homework" but well, will still figure out how to retrive them back.
i can't believe how relieve i am to know i still have my pictures. pictures from the different events i was involved in in the past four years or so. pictures of my life here in the U.S. and other places i've been to. each picture tells a moment of my time spent, and losing any one of them will probably feel like losing a tiny part in me.
the funny thing is, i don't have a program here to view the pictures. someone, help!
i can't believe how relieve i am to know i still have my pictures. pictures from the different events i was involved in in the past four years or so. pictures of my life here in the U.S. and other places i've been to. each picture tells a moment of my time spent, and losing any one of them will probably feel like losing a tiny part in me.
the funny thing is, i don't have a program here to view the pictures. someone, help!
woke up to the sound of rain hitting against my window sill. today the sky does look grayer than usual, and outside it is raining cats and dogs. learn that from primary school in singapore, and i've not used this synonym for a long time. never quite understand why cats and dogs? why not squirrels and bunnies? or lions and tigers? and translating to chinese will sound even more weird - xia gou gou mao mao yu - maybe i don't have enough understanding, but english can be weird.
the rain does help me enjoy the comfort of being in my little room staying dry, and warm. for the past few years i live out of my room (different ones as i move along) which i consider everything to me, like a little place i set up the way i like so i can wake up and come home to each day feeling homely. it's a place where i can call mine, even though yes, i rent it. but whatever. it's the feeling yeah? and living out in a small place allows me to be more sensitive as things get accumulated, and in turn analness strikes in to throw them all out. and today my roommates are not here so the house is even quieter, and i feel i'm owning the whole house. the rest of the house are not totally set up, even though it's been about five months since we first rented this place. i feel foreign whenever i step into the living room, which turns out to be a resting place for my bike and some cardboard boxes. and so i creep back into my little room.
living with not many things i own here made me realize that i can actually live possessing fewer things. well not quite, but fewer than i used to have back home. have been reading october's national geographical magazine about travelling. and i realize i want to go to so many places. from cities to country sides, i think i can enjoy travelling light, and travelling everywhere. people of high maintanence kills me. if someone goes to the playground and complains that sand is getting into her shoes, i'll SCREAM. if someone goes to the riverside and whines about frogs hopping on the water, i'll feel like pushing them down for a dip. conclusion i reach - people of high maintanence - don't travel with them!
oh geee i can't think all of a sudden. i know what i need: food!
the rain does help me enjoy the comfort of being in my little room staying dry, and warm. for the past few years i live out of my room (different ones as i move along) which i consider everything to me, like a little place i set up the way i like so i can wake up and come home to each day feeling homely. it's a place where i can call mine, even though yes, i rent it. but whatever. it's the feeling yeah? and living out in a small place allows me to be more sensitive as things get accumulated, and in turn analness strikes in to throw them all out. and today my roommates are not here so the house is even quieter, and i feel i'm owning the whole house. the rest of the house are not totally set up, even though it's been about five months since we first rented this place. i feel foreign whenever i step into the living room, which turns out to be a resting place for my bike and some cardboard boxes. and so i creep back into my little room.
living with not many things i own here made me realize that i can actually live possessing fewer things. well not quite, but fewer than i used to have back home. have been reading october's national geographical magazine about travelling. and i realize i want to go to so many places. from cities to country sides, i think i can enjoy travelling light, and travelling everywhere. people of high maintanence kills me. if someone goes to the playground and complains that sand is getting into her shoes, i'll SCREAM. if someone goes to the riverside and whines about frogs hopping on the water, i'll feel like pushing them down for a dip. conclusion i reach - people of high maintanence - don't travel with them!
oh geee i can't think all of a sudden. i know what i need: food!
Friday, November 05, 2004
listening to the clay aiken CD right now. so cheesy but somehow it's in my cd player when i pressed "play". and maybe just plain old laziness to get to my car and dig out my cd holder. a softer switch from avril and pink, which is a good transition to slow down alittle. it's good to have the music going on in my room, has been such a while that i actually didn't know i miss it till i play my stereo once again.
a good day at the gym. not too fast, but not too slow either. like the beats of the music, it was of good rhythm. trained my client with a different and more challenging workout and it sure was challenging for her. but it was really good. i think i'm really loving this club. not the building, but the experience itself i'm going through. the learning. the people. the stuff i'm doing. and another experience that makes my heart fall for san francisco.
hung out with my brother the other day, and we found it funny that our positions seemed to be switched. he has his heart for back home. he knows more places in hong kong than i do and he's not even born there. but i love the fact that he loves it and he knows it. how can someone loves somewhere so much?
it must be because there's something special at that place. and moving around so much allows me to gain some and leave some things each place i set foot on. and finding something special everywhere i go. and san francisco has alot of special things i've come across and gone through and experience over these few years. especially this past year. ups downs good bad sun rain they brought me to where i am today. and who i am today. can't lie, my heart has fallen for san francisco.
a good day at the gym. not too fast, but not too slow either. like the beats of the music, it was of good rhythm. trained my client with a different and more challenging workout and it sure was challenging for her. but it was really good. i think i'm really loving this club. not the building, but the experience itself i'm going through. the learning. the people. the stuff i'm doing. and another experience that makes my heart fall for san francisco.
hung out with my brother the other day, and we found it funny that our positions seemed to be switched. he has his heart for back home. he knows more places in hong kong than i do and he's not even born there. but i love the fact that he loves it and he knows it. how can someone loves somewhere so much?
it must be because there's something special at that place. and moving around so much allows me to gain some and leave some things each place i set foot on. and finding something special everywhere i go. and san francisco has alot of special things i've come across and gone through and experience over these few years. especially this past year. ups downs good bad sun rain they brought me to where i am today. and who i am today. can't lie, my heart has fallen for san francisco.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Anything But Ordinary - Avril Lavigne
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough, is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby
Sometimes I drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
It makes me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know that I
Have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on now give it to me
Anything to make me feel alive
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Let down your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
that this world is a beautiful
accident turbulent suculent
opulent permanent, no way
I wanna taste it
Don't wanna waste it away
Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh my self to sleep
It's my lullaby
Is it enough, is it enough?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Is it enough?
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
i talked to my car tonight. i must be going crazy.
was walking towards my car at the end of the long night at the gym, i found myself saying, "hey buster, how are you?" clicked open the door and slid myself in, and i felt good. safe and quiet. like a little nut in a nutshell kind of feeling. where the nutshell can be cracked open anytime even though how tough it seems to be.
it's one of those days today. where i feel like a cracked open nut. no matter how tough i try to be, the shell i build around me still cracks and leave me exposed.
arghhhh.
always thought i'm tough. guess i'm no better than anyone really. maybe even worse than others. because i build up this wall around me and think i can take up any challenge along the way. is that considered being stupid.
was never the best. did my best to be the best, thought i was the best. but nope, never really was the best. tried, strived, thought i was there, felt i got there. but nope, it don't mean anything to them. so who's the best. not me.
so i don't care. thought it don't matter no more. and i felt confident. i was confident. but it came back. and i lost it. lost confidence in myself. me? that's crazy. not a person who'll lose that.
but i guess i did. alright, nutshell time. let's build another one to protect my cowardly being. it's alittle suffocating, but that's better than getting pierced.
or is it?
someone once said risking is necessary. if not you'll never know. i did, and the journey is going good. but it comes to a point where it is breaking my shell away. heard it's suppose to be like that, that it's a good thing. but to be honest, afraid.
what if i disappoint. or get disappointed? someone else is always better. that sucks. i'm never good enough. that sucks big time. whoever i got that from, it works. i'm feeling it.
or... is it?
tired.
was walking towards my car at the end of the long night at the gym, i found myself saying, "hey buster, how are you?" clicked open the door and slid myself in, and i felt good. safe and quiet. like a little nut in a nutshell kind of feeling. where the nutshell can be cracked open anytime even though how tough it seems to be.
it's one of those days today. where i feel like a cracked open nut. no matter how tough i try to be, the shell i build around me still cracks and leave me exposed.
arghhhh.
always thought i'm tough. guess i'm no better than anyone really. maybe even worse than others. because i build up this wall around me and think i can take up any challenge along the way. is that considered being stupid.
was never the best. did my best to be the best, thought i was the best. but nope, never really was the best. tried, strived, thought i was there, felt i got there. but nope, it don't mean anything to them. so who's the best. not me.
so i don't care. thought it don't matter no more. and i felt confident. i was confident. but it came back. and i lost it. lost confidence in myself. me? that's crazy. not a person who'll lose that.
but i guess i did. alright, nutshell time. let's build another one to protect my cowardly being. it's alittle suffocating, but that's better than getting pierced.
or is it?
someone once said risking is necessary. if not you'll never know. i did, and the journey is going good. but it comes to a point where it is breaking my shell away. heard it's suppose to be like that, that it's a good thing. but to be honest, afraid.
what if i disappoint. or get disappointed? someone else is always better. that sucks. i'm never good enough. that sucks big time. whoever i got that from, it works. i'm feeling it.
or... is it?
tired.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
the air is so cold today that i'm having a slight headache. but after getting out of the house to get some groceries, moving my body around does seems to help alleviate some of the heaviness in my head. and the promise of hot porridge being cooked in the process of my entry certainly is something i look forward to, rather than popping two advils into my stomach.
i did blow out the candles without being photographed on saturday, at least not at that moment when i was in action. guess i'm just quick ;) it was a day where everything seemed to be planned out in such a way where they were just waiting for me to explore. well there was actually someone who planned out everything, and i can't appreciate what he did more.
it was a rainy day, and i was actually glad it was rainy even though it meant there was no basketball, but i just felt tired somewhat. lying in a cozy bed under the warm covers, while the sky looks gray with raindrops hitting against the window forming rhythmic sounds, it was one of the most comfortable feelings i've ever had, and it certainly promise a cozy start to the day. and it was good. peaceful yet with a pinch of excitement because i was happy. walked around town without having to hurry to anywhere, i love it.
and dinner was fantastic. chia took me to bistro on clement and i love every bit of it. it's a french restaurant with a very friendly atmosphere, their lightings felt warm and the food was excellent. the salmon i had was really good and definitely the mashed potatoes too. i wonder what they put in there to make it that good. and i guess that's why people are willing to pay extra to eat good food. the funny thing was that towards the end of dinner when we needed to get our coats back, the waiter didn't know which ones were ours and thus he took all the coats from the coat rack and brought them all to us. the best thing was that he did it with such professionalism that i really admire his attitude for his job.
and the surprise party. chia invited some of our friends over to celebrate my birthday without my knowing. ok, maybe alittle since florence spilled some beans to me, but all i knew was that there seems to be something going on. it was still such a surprise when it happened, and it was really nice to be having our friends over for tea and conversations and enjoying the get-together. i love every moment of it.
and i guess it's because these days, people are so busy with their lives that get-togethers are a time to slow down, catch up and indulge in others' companies. especially when it's getting cold, feelings like this warms up the hearts.
my headache seems to be gone.
i did blow out the candles without being photographed on saturday, at least not at that moment when i was in action. guess i'm just quick ;) it was a day where everything seemed to be planned out in such a way where they were just waiting for me to explore. well there was actually someone who planned out everything, and i can't appreciate what he did more.
it was a rainy day, and i was actually glad it was rainy even though it meant there was no basketball, but i just felt tired somewhat. lying in a cozy bed under the warm covers, while the sky looks gray with raindrops hitting against the window forming rhythmic sounds, it was one of the most comfortable feelings i've ever had, and it certainly promise a cozy start to the day. and it was good. peaceful yet with a pinch of excitement because i was happy. walked around town without having to hurry to anywhere, i love it.
and dinner was fantastic. chia took me to bistro on clement and i love every bit of it. it's a french restaurant with a very friendly atmosphere, their lightings felt warm and the food was excellent. the salmon i had was really good and definitely the mashed potatoes too. i wonder what they put in there to make it that good. and i guess that's why people are willing to pay extra to eat good food. the funny thing was that towards the end of dinner when we needed to get our coats back, the waiter didn't know which ones were ours and thus he took all the coats from the coat rack and brought them all to us. the best thing was that he did it with such professionalism that i really admire his attitude for his job.
and the surprise party. chia invited some of our friends over to celebrate my birthday without my knowing. ok, maybe alittle since florence spilled some beans to me, but all i knew was that there seems to be something going on. it was still such a surprise when it happened, and it was really nice to be having our friends over for tea and conversations and enjoying the get-together. i love every moment of it.
and i guess it's because these days, people are so busy with their lives that get-togethers are a time to slow down, catch up and indulge in others' companies. especially when it's getting cold, feelings like this warms up the hearts.
my headache seems to be gone.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
just checked my email and among the dozens of mails from my basketball buddies and school and work stuff, an ecard from bluemountain from a friend back in crescent whom i've lost contact with for a long time. it definitely made my night! :) a total pleasant surprise, and the funny thing is that she sent me a "i love u" card for my birthday. hahahaha. i love it :)
it adds to the joy of getting a card from my sis each year as well without fail, this year she sent me one of a light purplish color with flowers on the cover. and inside there's a few words written in her own stylish cursives which i always admire - and tried copying when i was younger - of hers and my bro-in-law's wishes. i've put it up on top of my dresser and it sure finds its place among the other stuff i've put together; graduation stuff toys, tea candles, and a few pictures i really like.
i've been doing much better with progress at work the past week. i've got clients! with my own efforts ;) there are times i just wanna go out there and help everyone out on the floor, when there are just too many people with incorrect techniques yanking their bodies at the machines. but i guess i still need to survive and get paid to do so. darryl is proud of me i think, but i feel i still got a long way to go.
work and work, that's why i decided to take saturday off. final decision, after weighing it between cash or rest. and in coincidence it's my birthday too. looking back from all that have happened since last year, i feel i've come a long way. feel as though many many many things have happened.
hmmph. it's kinda sad somehow when i don't really know what to do that day. it's not new, i never really know what to do or expect since six years ago. am i suppose to do something? i know the answer - it's all up to me. that's why, i don't know.
some people throw big parties. some people have quiet dinners. some people forget theirs. i'm fortunate that i have someone special to take me out to dinner. just telling that to the korean lady at the gym today made me smile, and well, alittle embarrassed. not the bad kind , but the kind that feels like being a little girl having her very first date and someone knows about it. hehe, so silly.
suddenly, i think i know what to do for bdays. things i like that makes me happy, but alittle different so it's different from the usual. like going somewhere. there's so many places i want to go. but i'll save that for next time. maybe i should ride my bike to ocean beach and kick up and fall into the sand. that's pretty fun :) love to be close to mother nature. play some hoops, pat some doggies. sit down and enjoy conversations with friends. i did that the other night with a few of my good friends here over dinner at a African restaurant which was really cool, i totally enjoy everything over there; the food, the atmosphere, and especially their company and conversations. hehe, i want to blow out candles too. without being photographed that is.
it adds to the joy of getting a card from my sis each year as well without fail, this year she sent me one of a light purplish color with flowers on the cover. and inside there's a few words written in her own stylish cursives which i always admire - and tried copying when i was younger - of hers and my bro-in-law's wishes. i've put it up on top of my dresser and it sure finds its place among the other stuff i've put together; graduation stuff toys, tea candles, and a few pictures i really like.
i've been doing much better with progress at work the past week. i've got clients! with my own efforts ;) there are times i just wanna go out there and help everyone out on the floor, when there are just too many people with incorrect techniques yanking their bodies at the machines. but i guess i still need to survive and get paid to do so. darryl is proud of me i think, but i feel i still got a long way to go.
work and work, that's why i decided to take saturday off. final decision, after weighing it between cash or rest. and in coincidence it's my birthday too. looking back from all that have happened since last year, i feel i've come a long way. feel as though many many many things have happened.
hmmph. it's kinda sad somehow when i don't really know what to do that day. it's not new, i never really know what to do or expect since six years ago. am i suppose to do something? i know the answer - it's all up to me. that's why, i don't know.
some people throw big parties. some people have quiet dinners. some people forget theirs. i'm fortunate that i have someone special to take me out to dinner. just telling that to the korean lady at the gym today made me smile, and well, alittle embarrassed. not the bad kind , but the kind that feels like being a little girl having her very first date and someone knows about it. hehe, so silly.
suddenly, i think i know what to do for bdays. things i like that makes me happy, but alittle different so it's different from the usual. like going somewhere. there's so many places i want to go. but i'll save that for next time. maybe i should ride my bike to ocean beach and kick up and fall into the sand. that's pretty fun :) love to be close to mother nature. play some hoops, pat some doggies. sit down and enjoy conversations with friends. i did that the other night with a few of my good friends here over dinner at a African restaurant which was really cool, i totally enjoy everything over there; the food, the atmosphere, and especially their company and conversations. hehe, i want to blow out candles too. without being photographed that is.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
it's been getting so much colder these few days in SF. I actually woke up a few times last night feeling cold even under my usually warm covers in my cozy little bed. but i did get a good night's sleep.
i'm still learning so much from darryl at club one. it seems that no matter how hard i try to get better each time at orientation there's still something that i screw up. and darryl catches that everytime i talk to him. and i'll feel as though i'm the dumbest person on earth, with my confidence diving to the bottom of the valley. but he's a great mentor and he's teaching me so much which i so enjoy. i can't get any worse so i can only get better. suck it up and learn. the sky's the limit.
being back at state on monday was good too. i talked to Dr. Spina and Dr. Lee which helped alot in indirectly reviewing to me what i really like in the field. after these 2 years i still feel a bigger pinch in physiology than physical therapy. i'm searching around and talking with others about different areas to get a better idea of whether that's really what i want. it's a big investment there and i want to know.
i want. these two words have been coming up so frequently in my volcabulary these days. it used to be more like "i want, but what about this/that/him/her?" it's been alittle draining over the years. feels that an intermission period has arrived for me to just focus on myself. because that's what i want. i want to feel what i'm feeling. it doesn't mean i don't care about other people or other things. i just don't want to lose touch with myself. i want to find out the path ahead of me. i want to make decisions. i want to get better in what i do. i want to slack off in things i can slack off. i want to tell people what i feel, i want to let them know. i want to hide nothing. that's why i want to laugh when it's funny. and cry when it hurts. and buy three packets of sour patch kids when i want to eat three packs.
in addition, i want to continue what i've done before and what i'm still doing. it's still me with a deeper sense of who i am.
i'm still learning so much from darryl at club one. it seems that no matter how hard i try to get better each time at orientation there's still something that i screw up. and darryl catches that everytime i talk to him. and i'll feel as though i'm the dumbest person on earth, with my confidence diving to the bottom of the valley. but he's a great mentor and he's teaching me so much which i so enjoy. i can't get any worse so i can only get better. suck it up and learn. the sky's the limit.
being back at state on monday was good too. i talked to Dr. Spina and Dr. Lee which helped alot in indirectly reviewing to me what i really like in the field. after these 2 years i still feel a bigger pinch in physiology than physical therapy. i'm searching around and talking with others about different areas to get a better idea of whether that's really what i want. it's a big investment there and i want to know.
i want. these two words have been coming up so frequently in my volcabulary these days. it used to be more like "i want, but what about this/that/him/her?" it's been alittle draining over the years. feels that an intermission period has arrived for me to just focus on myself. because that's what i want. i want to feel what i'm feeling. it doesn't mean i don't care about other people or other things. i just don't want to lose touch with myself. i want to find out the path ahead of me. i want to make decisions. i want to get better in what i do. i want to slack off in things i can slack off. i want to tell people what i feel, i want to let them know. i want to hide nothing. that's why i want to laugh when it's funny. and cry when it hurts. and buy three packets of sour patch kids when i want to eat three packs.
in addition, i want to continue what i've done before and what i'm still doing. it's still me with a deeper sense of who i am.
Friday, October 01, 2004
it's october. where did the year go?
have been so tired recently. i don't know why, but letting myself sleep for 10 hrs 2 nights before helped quite abit in getting my energy back.
it's good that there are things that keep me going. i'm still trying to keep myself going in learning more at work, learning from mistakes and having the thickest skin anyone can have so i can sustain falls. having gatherings after work to look forward to, good wine to drink, friends to crack jokes with. and chia, and God, and oh, chocolates.
have been so tired recently. i don't know why, but letting myself sleep for 10 hrs 2 nights before helped quite abit in getting my energy back.
it's good that there are things that keep me going. i'm still trying to keep myself going in learning more at work, learning from mistakes and having the thickest skin anyone can have so i can sustain falls. having gatherings after work to look forward to, good wine to drink, friends to crack jokes with. and chia, and God, and oh, chocolates.
Friday, September 17, 2004
life is so exciting that it's really amazing. you can't predict what's gonna happen tomorrow even if you think you do because you just can't. everything is in relation with other things that anything can happen. like a ball game a player has good and bad days on the court, gain experiences along the way and come back from mistakes, go through injuries, recover with help, or if not, move on to do something else like golf, like it and become the best of it, or leave it and try baking and starts an international business earning big bucks year round. as long as one come back at something, it's amazing what can happen.
yeah they are not sponsoring visa for me, but really, i'm not disappointed. was emailing virginia earlier on:
"... Somehow I'm really not disappointed or anything. It's weird but I believe that things will work out because if God has brought me this far to where I am right now He'll take care of me. It's really quite a relieve to know the answer of getting a visa or not and move on from there. I'm enjoying my work at Club One - I'm learning alot alot from my manager and other trainers, having a good time meeting new people. At the same time I'll be starting in looking at options for the near future, whether I would like to go back to school or some other stuff. Comes down to it again is money, but I think if I really want to go for what I want it'll work out...."
who cares where i'll be after a year. who cares what i'll be doing then. well i guess i do, but i mean things are not as bad as it seems. in fact i'm really looking forward to what's gonna happen! open myself up to all sorts of opportunities, i really don't know what will happen and i can't wait to find out ;) the past 2 days have been tough but funny how i find strength in others who are just there for me when i need them. from all over the place. all the way from Singapore and England and right here in SF. times like this i realize how creative people are too. simon called me yesterday and talked for 45 mins, that guy loves to talk! and i still find one of his suggested option too funny - making a dowry to chia so i'll get to stay and keep the money in the family too..! america is f-up man, reversing and messing with the chinese thinking. and hey simon said this himself.
it's friday! i love it :):):)
'but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' - Isaiah 40:31
yeah they are not sponsoring visa for me, but really, i'm not disappointed. was emailing virginia earlier on:
"... Somehow I'm really not disappointed or anything. It's weird but I believe that things will work out because if God has brought me this far to where I am right now He'll take care of me. It's really quite a relieve to know the answer of getting a visa or not and move on from there. I'm enjoying my work at Club One - I'm learning alot alot from my manager and other trainers, having a good time meeting new people. At the same time I'll be starting in looking at options for the near future, whether I would like to go back to school or some other stuff. Comes down to it again is money, but I think if I really want to go for what I want it'll work out...."
who cares where i'll be after a year. who cares what i'll be doing then. well i guess i do, but i mean things are not as bad as it seems. in fact i'm really looking forward to what's gonna happen! open myself up to all sorts of opportunities, i really don't know what will happen and i can't wait to find out ;) the past 2 days have been tough but funny how i find strength in others who are just there for me when i need them. from all over the place. all the way from Singapore and England and right here in SF. times like this i realize how creative people are too. simon called me yesterday and talked for 45 mins, that guy loves to talk! and i still find one of his suggested option too funny - making a dowry to chia so i'll get to stay and keep the money in the family too..! america is f-up man, reversing and messing with the chinese thinking. and hey simon said this himself.
it's friday! i love it :):):)
'but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' - Isaiah 40:31
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
gotta sleep in till 9am because my work schedule is being switched from the morning shift to the afternoon/evening shift starting today. waking up feels funny just now, no more annoying ringin of the alarm clock to shock me up to an attack like each morning for the past month, and i can actually relax before rushing off to face the crazy day. the only thing is that i will only get off at 10pm, hmmmph... i'm not sure which is better, starting 5:30 in the morning or ending at 10 in the evening.
but then it'll be exciting to face another bunch of crowd in the gym, and i'll be learning from other trainers at how they do their stuff which will definitely help me in progressing faster. can't wait!
it's funny that when mom called me last night she talked to me like i'm still a little girl who doesn't know anything... basically she was talking 98% of the time, telling me to learn more stuff at work and budget my expenditure and things like that.... basically things that i already know and i'm already doing. hmmph sometimes pressure like this is just not very helpful, i'm just glad i know i'm doing a pretty good job surviving out here so that doesn't bother me.
darn my body is hurting quite a bit... basketball against those big guys are not really that easy. and speaking of basketball, still debating whether i should keep that pair of basketball shox xplosive... those are so coool looking....! aiyaaaah maybe i should just keep them lol.
but then it'll be exciting to face another bunch of crowd in the gym, and i'll be learning from other trainers at how they do their stuff which will definitely help me in progressing faster. can't wait!
it's funny that when mom called me last night she talked to me like i'm still a little girl who doesn't know anything... basically she was talking 98% of the time, telling me to learn more stuff at work and budget my expenditure and things like that.... basically things that i already know and i'm already doing. hmmph sometimes pressure like this is just not very helpful, i'm just glad i know i'm doing a pretty good job surviving out here so that doesn't bother me.
darn my body is hurting quite a bit... basketball against those big guys are not really that easy. and speaking of basketball, still debating whether i should keep that pair of basketball shox xplosive... those are so coool looking....! aiyaaaah maybe i should just keep them lol.
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
sometimes i think i try to do too much at a time, and for lots of times i keep repeating it. being in the transition of current circumstances when i try to do everything, i slowly fall back to my old self, as my friends once called me when i started stressing, constipated connie. why of all things constipated? i guess it must be that facial expression of frowning and attitude of analness i possess when i stress. and these few days when i creeped back into this moment i felt it, and then today i realize why - my brain is cramped with unnecessary thoughts that are left sitting there which soon turn into stressors, just like extra calories turning into fat in the body when not expended. and more importantly, i forgot to smile.
at club one things are really slowing down these few days. i started out the day feeling like i don't know what i'm gonna do for the day, having all these questions and about how to become a good trainer, wondering whether i'm suppose to be in this afterall, blah blah blah. then before i knew it i was talking with tracy, she comes in at 5:30am every morning working out her cardio and i love talking to her. and soon we were talking about going back to school, how she did it and stuff and then she reminded me of something i've forgotten - follow your heart and passion to do what you want.
it's so funny. i felt so much better for the rest of the day. and that's because i just do what i feel like afterwards. after work i went to ccsf to visit my athletic trainer from last semester, i was so happy to see him! it felt really good being back in the tiny training room, i had very good experiences there. Jose has been telling me about this physical therapy aide job in fremont, and that they will actually hire me right away. i so want to have it because it will be the same things i enjoy doing while at internship last semester, but well, my full time schedule at the gym doesn't really allow that to happen as of now. i felt so greedy, wanting to do everything... i'm not sure whether it's because i enjoy athletic training more than personal training, whether physical therapy is the way to go or exercise physiology, once again, blah blah blah. lol. then i realize, what the? take it as they come and enjoy the moment!
walked back to my car and there it was, a parking ticket i got for parking at a spot timed for street cleaning while i was in the training room. but i started cracking up, i find it funny because it was almost the same spot i parked where i got my first ticket (this is my second)! about the same time doing almost the same thing, it's really worth a celebration. anyone up for it?
and all the bills came in today, but then somehow i'm not that worried. not that i have that much money to deal with them, but hey, i don't want it to be the focus, anymore. if i don't have much of the bucks i'll just deal with it one at a time, when the time comes. i'll just sell stuff, move and live in my car, or something like that. lol. maybe not that bad but you get the idea.
my best friend from singapore is online chatting with me right now and i'm so glad. nothing but brainless topics but they definitely make me smile. i'm so glad that she's just there on the other side of the globe chatting with me, i feel really good :) and i'm blessed as well to have a best friend here in SF, a special friend ;) i was venting some of my stresses on him earlier on this week and i felt bad to put him through that. but he was patient and understanding and i can't ask for more. thanks so much sweetie.
i feel so good now. letting go of all the idealistic stuff i have in mind allows me to be me again. follow my passion, that will keep me going. things i like doing something i'll keep doing, if i realize i don't like something i'll find ways to find the path i want to go. there's always a way out, for tomorrow's another day, a new day :)
at club one things are really slowing down these few days. i started out the day feeling like i don't know what i'm gonna do for the day, having all these questions and about how to become a good trainer, wondering whether i'm suppose to be in this afterall, blah blah blah. then before i knew it i was talking with tracy, she comes in at 5:30am every morning working out her cardio and i love talking to her. and soon we were talking about going back to school, how she did it and stuff and then she reminded me of something i've forgotten - follow your heart and passion to do what you want.
it's so funny. i felt so much better for the rest of the day. and that's because i just do what i feel like afterwards. after work i went to ccsf to visit my athletic trainer from last semester, i was so happy to see him! it felt really good being back in the tiny training room, i had very good experiences there. Jose has been telling me about this physical therapy aide job in fremont, and that they will actually hire me right away. i so want to have it because it will be the same things i enjoy doing while at internship last semester, but well, my full time schedule at the gym doesn't really allow that to happen as of now. i felt so greedy, wanting to do everything... i'm not sure whether it's because i enjoy athletic training more than personal training, whether physical therapy is the way to go or exercise physiology, once again, blah blah blah. lol. then i realize, what the? take it as they come and enjoy the moment!
walked back to my car and there it was, a parking ticket i got for parking at a spot timed for street cleaning while i was in the training room. but i started cracking up, i find it funny because it was almost the same spot i parked where i got my first ticket (this is my second)! about the same time doing almost the same thing, it's really worth a celebration. anyone up for it?
and all the bills came in today, but then somehow i'm not that worried. not that i have that much money to deal with them, but hey, i don't want it to be the focus, anymore. if i don't have much of the bucks i'll just deal with it one at a time, when the time comes. i'll just sell stuff, move and live in my car, or something like that. lol. maybe not that bad but you get the idea.
my best friend from singapore is online chatting with me right now and i'm so glad. nothing but brainless topics but they definitely make me smile. i'm so glad that she's just there on the other side of the globe chatting with me, i feel really good :) and i'm blessed as well to have a best friend here in SF, a special friend ;) i was venting some of my stresses on him earlier on this week and i felt bad to put him through that. but he was patient and understanding and i can't ask for more. thanks so much sweetie.
i feel so good now. letting go of all the idealistic stuff i have in mind allows me to be me again. follow my passion, that will keep me going. things i like doing something i'll keep doing, if i realize i don't like something i'll find ways to find the path i want to go. there's always a way out, for tomorrow's another day, a new day :)
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
spending some quiet moments at my table icing my left knee at the same time, i'm actually quite enjoying this relaxation. not that my knee has any injuries or whatever but i did hurt it alittle from yesterday basketball league game. must have tweaked it planting my foot on the ground while trying to change direction too quickly. to be more precise, i think i strained the lateral collateral ligament as well as the rectus femoris tendon because of internal rotation of the thigh at the knee joint while the lower leg and the foot is planted on the floor in the sagittal plane of the body, resulting in a slight instability of the left knee. and so, i strained it.
but good news is that i believe i have reached that maturaity level that i will recognize risk of injuries and NoT ignore it to protect my body. my ankles had suffered for my stupidity already and i definitely do not want my good knees to go through the same.
and yesterday's game at USF pissed me off...! we lost by a point but i really think we played an excellent game. what frustrated me was the total disorganized and unprofessional coordination of the league game. scores were not recorded correctly, but what's worse was that the coordinator and the staff did not know what to do in an emergency situation. suzanne dislocated her pinky and all they did was standing there frozen staring. it's a wonder that they didn't pass out to make it a perfect picture. no ice, no first aid kit? what a joke. it really makes me mad when the organizer has no knowledge for such situations. one word - stupidity. i had planned to but now there's no way i will pay sixty bucks to go through such a messy league game (i will still play though).
anyways, can't believe it's tuesday evening already. time seems to go alittle faster this week.
but good news is that i believe i have reached that maturaity level that i will recognize risk of injuries and NoT ignore it to protect my body. my ankles had suffered for my stupidity already and i definitely do not want my good knees to go through the same.
and yesterday's game at USF pissed me off...! we lost by a point but i really think we played an excellent game. what frustrated me was the total disorganized and unprofessional coordination of the league game. scores were not recorded correctly, but what's worse was that the coordinator and the staff did not know what to do in an emergency situation. suzanne dislocated her pinky and all they did was standing there frozen staring. it's a wonder that they didn't pass out to make it a perfect picture. no ice, no first aid kit? what a joke. it really makes me mad when the organizer has no knowledge for such situations. one word - stupidity. i had planned to but now there's no way i will pay sixty bucks to go through such a messy league game (i will still play though).
anyways, can't believe it's tuesday evening already. time seems to go alittle faster this week.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
just finished lunch and can't believe it's 3pm already. i was really hungry for awhile but then i was only able to eat a portion of that chinese food i bought, not that great but good enough to fill an empty stomach. it's so ironic that being a health and fitness professional i never do a good job in taking care of my body - food wise. i do great with injury treatments and prevention and things like that but somehow when it comes down to food I never do a good job, even though the knowledge is there in me.
it’s like smoking – people know all those bad stuff in a tiny cigarette but they still puff their lungs away. Well my situation is not that bad but you see the similarity there, not practicing what you know is good for you. And there are thousands of examples out there, from slacking in time management to speeding on the freeway to not wanting to get your butt off that couch to move around so that the next cookie you eat might clot your artery, it’s a wonder how smart and dumb at the same time the human race has come to. Alright I’m getting off topic so back to where it is – I’m working at eating well, I’m trying at the very least.
Apart from improving in eating better I also find myself continue to grow in maturity in this new stage of life I’ve come to. Working in the new environment is teaching me so much about becoming a more confident person, the result of getting out of my comfort zone and going through bum situations. It’s only been slightly more than a week working at club one, and I’ve already found myself screwing up the first client orientation yesterday. The feeling was worse than losing a ball game by a shot and I just can’t help feel that way. And funny that it’s only me putting anal expectation on myself while my coworkers and managers recognize my first try. Thankfully I have someone who came along and help me up, accepting the way I felt and reminding me that I can overcome them. And making sure I eat too ;) and i find myself getting back up quicker to try working better with a member. And for sure I did better today. :)
Life is full of uncertainty. but it's cool, for what's bigger than than? it's that peace you ask for.
phil 4:6-7
it’s like smoking – people know all those bad stuff in a tiny cigarette but they still puff their lungs away. Well my situation is not that bad but you see the similarity there, not practicing what you know is good for you. And there are thousands of examples out there, from slacking in time management to speeding on the freeway to not wanting to get your butt off that couch to move around so that the next cookie you eat might clot your artery, it’s a wonder how smart and dumb at the same time the human race has come to. Alright I’m getting off topic so back to where it is – I’m working at eating well, I’m trying at the very least.
Apart from improving in eating better I also find myself continue to grow in maturity in this new stage of life I’ve come to. Working in the new environment is teaching me so much about becoming a more confident person, the result of getting out of my comfort zone and going through bum situations. It’s only been slightly more than a week working at club one, and I’ve already found myself screwing up the first client orientation yesterday. The feeling was worse than losing a ball game by a shot and I just can’t help feel that way. And funny that it’s only me putting anal expectation on myself while my coworkers and managers recognize my first try. Thankfully I have someone who came along and help me up, accepting the way I felt and reminding me that I can overcome them. And making sure I eat too ;) and i find myself getting back up quicker to try working better with a member. And for sure I did better today. :)
Life is full of uncertainty. but it's cool, for what's bigger than than? it's that peace you ask for.
phil 4:6-7
Friday, August 06, 2004
when something is lost it really makes you appreciate its value which has been taken so much for granted, just because it's simply there serving you faithfully everyday. and so i am having this splint on my left ring finger because i sprained it pretty bad yesterday at basketball, and trying to type anything right now seems to be much more difficult. it's a wonder how the littlest thing plays such an important role in everyday life.
my first week at club one is fantastic. the pace felt pretty comfortable at the beginning of the week as i tried to familiarize myself with the club facility, staff and members. it slowed down on wednesday and thursday and that's when i started reading all those books on exercise science on my manager's shelf, when i really didn't have much to do that early in the morning. i'm not complaining though, for this might be the only slow time i have right now as i'll get a go in client orientation next week. it's a great place to work in, people there are really nice and i am having great times learning as much as i can being a trainer from other trainers, while getting a feel of the different personalities the members have. many of them are real cool and it's also funny how others look as though they are having monday blues everyday. maybe they just look like that. or maybe it's too early in the morning. or maybe they are really having a bad day.
i don't think it can be argued if i say that some of the best gifts one can give are free. you know, FREE, no charge. like those free passes to go to a gym to check out the yoga classes, but usually there is hidden agenda behind them. the ones i'm talking about are way better. like a smile and a word of "hi", where miraculously i find that many times they are antidotes of the grumpiest face. and that's it, you give them out or you receive them and both parties benefit from the whole thing, you feel great either way. how i love free stuff.
try it and you'll see what i mean. this materialistic world has way too many of its unnecessary problems that passing on free smiles and words of encouragement are actually cool. and i'm glad i have cool people around me doing so, i'm doing my best to do the same too.
my first week at club one is fantastic. the pace felt pretty comfortable at the beginning of the week as i tried to familiarize myself with the club facility, staff and members. it slowed down on wednesday and thursday and that's when i started reading all those books on exercise science on my manager's shelf, when i really didn't have much to do that early in the morning. i'm not complaining though, for this might be the only slow time i have right now as i'll get a go in client orientation next week. it's a great place to work in, people there are really nice and i am having great times learning as much as i can being a trainer from other trainers, while getting a feel of the different personalities the members have. many of them are real cool and it's also funny how others look as though they are having monday blues everyday. maybe they just look like that. or maybe it's too early in the morning. or maybe they are really having a bad day.
i don't think it can be argued if i say that some of the best gifts one can give are free. you know, FREE, no charge. like those free passes to go to a gym to check out the yoga classes, but usually there is hidden agenda behind them. the ones i'm talking about are way better. like a smile and a word of "hi", where miraculously i find that many times they are antidotes of the grumpiest face. and that's it, you give them out or you receive them and both parties benefit from the whole thing, you feel great either way. how i love free stuff.
try it and you'll see what i mean. this materialistic world has way too many of its unnecessary problems that passing on free smiles and words of encouragement are actually cool. and i'm glad i have cool people around me doing so, i'm doing my best to do the same too.
Monday, August 02, 2004
it was cold waking up at 4am this morning. or actually, i woke up at 4:30am, when one out of my three alarm clocks buzzed off. the one florence lent me yesterday night didn’t work, i must have set it incorrectly somehow… but it’s a good thing it didn’t since it sounded like a deafening orchestra yesterday night when she brought it to me, i really don’t like waking up with a shock. and then somehow i didn’t switch on my radio alarm, so my other crappy clock did the job. it wasn’t that hard waking up even though with only 4 hours of sleep, i pulled on my club shirt and target sweat pants, ready to meet the day as a freshly sprouted personal trainer.
preparing to be a personal trainer wasn’t easy… buying those black sweat pants made me sweat. i was practically running to different sports shop trying to find black pants for work yesterday, and i couldn’t believe there was nothing i like. well, that was the result of a month of procrastination of buying what was needed, but i sure wasn’t picky – i was actually opposite of being picky and maybe that’s why i couldn’t find anything. i don’t need all those dri-fit or buttons or linings or zippers or whatever thingy, i just need a pair of decent fitting sweats. why do people make such complicated pants nowadays? and why do people spend a hundred bucks buying them when all they do is to walk the dog? questions, questions. can’t believe that after running all over i actually got the pants from target, but they were real comfy and good looking and hey, crazily inexpensive.
driving to work was smooth, i just didn’t like that dude working in the garage since he acted as though he owned everything and everyone in the garage. whatever. got to work and i met misha who worked at the front desk and she’s real cool. she gave me tips on parking around the area and i learned front desk stuff from her as well. it was really neat to see people working out in an upperend gym with really cool machines and weights, oh and with those giant tv screens too. it took me sometime getting myself familiar with the weight floor and getting comfortable with the environment, somehow i felt pretty adaptable. at some point it felt as though i was working back in the weight room at SFstate again, except this time i have way more responsibilities taking care of the needs of the members at the club. and i have been pretty nervous all this while whenever i think i’m gonna train someone. the anxiety of knowing that i will screw up somehow due to inexperience, but the excitement that i will be learning something new, talking to other trainers about stuff i don’t know about, meeting different staff and members and the anticipation that i will ACTually train somebody.
i can’t wait to be a good trainer. a really good trainer.
feel super blessed to get a job where people are cool and everything here, and knowing that all those knowledge i have gained in school i am able to use and expand with creativity on it made me excited. i think i will really like this job, i think i’m already on my way of doing so.
preparing to be a personal trainer wasn’t easy… buying those black sweat pants made me sweat. i was practically running to different sports shop trying to find black pants for work yesterday, and i couldn’t believe there was nothing i like. well, that was the result of a month of procrastination of buying what was needed, but i sure wasn’t picky – i was actually opposite of being picky and maybe that’s why i couldn’t find anything. i don’t need all those dri-fit or buttons or linings or zippers or whatever thingy, i just need a pair of decent fitting sweats. why do people make such complicated pants nowadays? and why do people spend a hundred bucks buying them when all they do is to walk the dog? questions, questions. can’t believe that after running all over i actually got the pants from target, but they were real comfy and good looking and hey, crazily inexpensive.
driving to work was smooth, i just didn’t like that dude working in the garage since he acted as though he owned everything and everyone in the garage. whatever. got to work and i met misha who worked at the front desk and she’s real cool. she gave me tips on parking around the area and i learned front desk stuff from her as well. it was really neat to see people working out in an upperend gym with really cool machines and weights, oh and with those giant tv screens too. it took me sometime getting myself familiar with the weight floor and getting comfortable with the environment, somehow i felt pretty adaptable. at some point it felt as though i was working back in the weight room at SFstate again, except this time i have way more responsibilities taking care of the needs of the members at the club. and i have been pretty nervous all this while whenever i think i’m gonna train someone. the anxiety of knowing that i will screw up somehow due to inexperience, but the excitement that i will be learning something new, talking to other trainers about stuff i don’t know about, meeting different staff and members and the anticipation that i will ACTually train somebody.
i can’t wait to be a good trainer. a really good trainer.
feel super blessed to get a job where people are cool and everything here, and knowing that all those knowledge i have gained in school i am able to use and expand with creativity on it made me excited. i think i will really like this job, i think i’m already on my way of doing so.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
a sunny day in daly city! but i'm sitting indoors... oh well whatever, as long as i feel i can afford some time spent being indoors. did a bunch of errands in the morning and i'm suppose to clean up my room and seal that big gap under the door between my room and the kitchen... but somehow i still find myself sitting on my comfy chair. well at least i emptied the trash and bottles in the kitchen earlier on. went to target in the morning as well to get a mini vacuum cleaner, finally got it after having my brother's laundry powder detergent spilled over half the trunk... so it's a good thing that happened and therefore i can get the vacuum. i'm trying to convince myself here by the way of spending the money to buy it. was actually standing at the aisle infront of a row of vacuum cleaners for half hour trying to decide which one i should get... my brain gets tired when there are too many choices at times. apparently michael really likes the mp3/cd player i got for him! that made me happy :) when i helped him move into his new place in berkeley 2 days ago i felt like a mom somehow, my mom i guess, when i started nagging at him and then hoping he'll be fine at his new place when i left. goodness... is that how daughters will slowly become - like our moms?
oh and i still want my own doggy everytime i go into the serramonte's pet shop! which i did again this morning after i went in there a couple of days ago with my brother... the west highland white terrier was still very playful, and there was this cocker spaniel which was so cute too. and then there was this baby golden retreiver sleeping away... having a dog is like having a baby isn't it...? hmmmph maybe i should just be a dog shop owner.
tomorrow i'll be doing my training at club one, wonder what's gonna happen? full of anticipation yet with a tiny mixture of uncertainty... preparing for my first real full time job!
oh and i still want my own doggy everytime i go into the serramonte's pet shop! which i did again this morning after i went in there a couple of days ago with my brother... the west highland white terrier was still very playful, and there was this cocker spaniel which was so cute too. and then there was this baby golden retreiver sleeping away... having a dog is like having a baby isn't it...? hmmmph maybe i should just be a dog shop owner.
tomorrow i'll be doing my training at club one, wonder what's gonna happen? full of anticipation yet with a tiny mixture of uncertainty... preparing for my first real full time job!
Thursday, July 22, 2004
come to think about it, it’s been…. quite a number of years since i really started playing basketball. since 13?
still remember when i was like 5 i had this pink rubber ball which i totally loved bouncing around, and there were this koala and panda bear cartoons on it too. my sister and i were watching a soccer anime on tv then, and she said she wanted to be a soccer player when she grew up. i probably didn’t know what i was talking about but i said i wanted to be a basketball player. it was funny, because i didn’t even know what basketball was about except for the bouncing part of it. my sister laughed at me, saying i was too short to be one. hmmph.
guess i didn’t turn out to be too short. somehow my love for bouncing a ball continued to stay with me even though i didn’t get a chance to play the real game when i was in primary and secondary schools. the basketball club closed down when i got into crescent girls’, so i joined track instead. i loved running. i still do. i loved the feeling of being fast. loved it even more when i was faster than anyone else. but nothing came easy when trying to be a faster-than-others runner. had to go through trainings that felt like hell, had to keep myself focused and disciplined. had to keep up with what others expected of me, but more importantly i had to keep up with what i expected of myself. that’s when i realized i didn’t like losing. i accepted defeat and did my best to get better and faster. drew strength from those around who supported me, and strength from God who kept me going and gave me that inner peace i need.
sweat. cramps. heat. strained muscles. dirt. torn ligaments… being an athlete taught me a lot. when i started track i started playing basketball on the side as well. my group of girl pals who were looking for the same fun went out there every recess to play hoops. it was so much fun! but somehow i still didn’t like losing, so i gave my best every time i played. i loved the sound of the ball swooshing through the net. i loved it when i jumped high. i loved it when i cut through screens and past defenders. i loved it when i failed and accepted it and then succeed.
7 months in JJC almost stopped me from coming out to the states. i joined one of the best basketball teams and i loved my coach and teammates to death. i learned so much about the game of basketball. no more is it about me trying to shoot some hoops alone on the court, but working together with my teammates towards the same goal – winning. i loved it when we tried to win, loved it when we win. i brought my game with me to the states, and i found myself expanding it. i’m a player on the court, i will take anyone and i’m not afraid. i take no crap from other people and i respect good players. and i make sure i have fun :)
recently though, i find myself shifting focus from making sure i have fun to trying to win too much. wanting to win is not a bad thing until you are overly obsessed with it. when that happens you’ll forget the simplest pleasure of running and basketball – feeling fast, jumping high, the sound of the net, the warmth of the sun, the cool wind on the back of the shirt… and the real reason to play - to have fun. God has given me this passion to help me live life fully - to help others up when they fall down, to taste joy and tears, to feel His creation under the sky, to understand the pain of sprains and strains, to go through the difficulty of being on crutches, to encourage and understand and go through what other people go through just like how He does the same for me. how can i forget how it all started - the love of bouncing a rubber ball?
http://www.tothenextlevel.org
still remember when i was like 5 i had this pink rubber ball which i totally loved bouncing around, and there were this koala and panda bear cartoons on it too. my sister and i were watching a soccer anime on tv then, and she said she wanted to be a soccer player when she grew up. i probably didn’t know what i was talking about but i said i wanted to be a basketball player. it was funny, because i didn’t even know what basketball was about except for the bouncing part of it. my sister laughed at me, saying i was too short to be one. hmmph.
guess i didn’t turn out to be too short. somehow my love for bouncing a ball continued to stay with me even though i didn’t get a chance to play the real game when i was in primary and secondary schools. the basketball club closed down when i got into crescent girls’, so i joined track instead. i loved running. i still do. i loved the feeling of being fast. loved it even more when i was faster than anyone else. but nothing came easy when trying to be a faster-than-others runner. had to go through trainings that felt like hell, had to keep myself focused and disciplined. had to keep up with what others expected of me, but more importantly i had to keep up with what i expected of myself. that’s when i realized i didn’t like losing. i accepted defeat and did my best to get better and faster. drew strength from those around who supported me, and strength from God who kept me going and gave me that inner peace i need.
sweat. cramps. heat. strained muscles. dirt. torn ligaments… being an athlete taught me a lot. when i started track i started playing basketball on the side as well. my group of girl pals who were looking for the same fun went out there every recess to play hoops. it was so much fun! but somehow i still didn’t like losing, so i gave my best every time i played. i loved the sound of the ball swooshing through the net. i loved it when i jumped high. i loved it when i cut through screens and past defenders. i loved it when i failed and accepted it and then succeed.
7 months in JJC almost stopped me from coming out to the states. i joined one of the best basketball teams and i loved my coach and teammates to death. i learned so much about the game of basketball. no more is it about me trying to shoot some hoops alone on the court, but working together with my teammates towards the same goal – winning. i loved it when we tried to win, loved it when we win. i brought my game with me to the states, and i found myself expanding it. i’m a player on the court, i will take anyone and i’m not afraid. i take no crap from other people and i respect good players. and i make sure i have fun :)
recently though, i find myself shifting focus from making sure i have fun to trying to win too much. wanting to win is not a bad thing until you are overly obsessed with it. when that happens you’ll forget the simplest pleasure of running and basketball – feeling fast, jumping high, the sound of the net, the warmth of the sun, the cool wind on the back of the shirt… and the real reason to play - to have fun. God has given me this passion to help me live life fully - to help others up when they fall down, to taste joy and tears, to feel His creation under the sky, to understand the pain of sprains and strains, to go through the difficulty of being on crutches, to encourage and understand and go through what other people go through just like how He does the same for me. how can i forget how it all started - the love of bouncing a rubber ball?
http://www.tothenextlevel.org
Tuesday, July 20, 2004
i'm so happy. i finally took the recycling bins out to be collected tomorrow morning! yyyaaaaayaaaaaaayy :) it was pretty weird too... after i took them out of the garage and came back up to the living room, i just happened to look out of the window and there was this old man look-alike (his back was facing me) with a huge white garbage bag and he was digging in our bins looking for cans and stuff... he was pretty quick too, for the whole time i was standing there like a piece of rock looking at what he was doing he just went through the bins in sound speed and then left. this was less than a minute after i took them out, i wondered where he came from. maybe next week i should leave more cans for him too.
anyways today have been a good day :) i was out there doing stuff! well i didn't do much but at least i was out walking here and there... it all happened this morning when i got up and the next thing i knew was that my glasses hit the bathroom tile floor while i was washing up... picked it up and there it was - a huge crack right across the left lens. i felt as though a cork just popped out of a champaign bottle and shot all around in my head. but somehow two seconds later i wasn't feeling that upset. it was pretty hilarious actually and i laughed at myself for my stupidity and clumsiness :D haha the feeling was like crossing the golden gate bridge the other time when i was supposed to go south, if you know what happened to me before (i must be going nuts) so well tried to do something about it, asked chia for information on shops and called my brother for his experience when he broke like 6 pairs of glasses for the past 3 years. i just loved my bro's reply: "oh that's easy, just go into any eyeglass shop and get it done lor" thanks for the info mike.
well in the end i ended up going with allen and florence to serramonte to the eyeglass shop there, since i remembered that the day before florence mentioned to me that allen was gonna go shop for his glasses. it's good to find company :). didn't get much out from there, the information the guy at the shop gave wasn't that helpful. and the eyeglasses he was wearing was weird looking too... nope not for me. so i got home and found my old pair of glasses just now and i think i'll just fix the paddings that had broken off somehow, the part that rest on the nose bridge... at least for now, till i see what i can do next. i gotta do it soon if not it'll cut into my skin which really hurts, or i'll just be quite blind. haha i love it when i can find ways to get around stuff :) usually not for long though.
i love today too since i cooked a super simple yet healthy dinner! was starving and then i was so full.... so decided to get up and walk and that's when i took the recycling bins out. oh back to the beginning.
bumming and lazing around are tiring me out. and i mean tiring me out. i think i'll really need to play some hoops, or jump some rope, or run around tomorrow. oh how about biking around the neighborhood? hmmmph that sure sounds good :)
anyways today have been a good day :) i was out there doing stuff! well i didn't do much but at least i was out walking here and there... it all happened this morning when i got up and the next thing i knew was that my glasses hit the bathroom tile floor while i was washing up... picked it up and there it was - a huge crack right across the left lens. i felt as though a cork just popped out of a champaign bottle and shot all around in my head. but somehow two seconds later i wasn't feeling that upset. it was pretty hilarious actually and i laughed at myself for my stupidity and clumsiness :D haha the feeling was like crossing the golden gate bridge the other time when i was supposed to go south, if you know what happened to me before (i must be going nuts) so well tried to do something about it, asked chia for information on shops and called my brother for his experience when he broke like 6 pairs of glasses for the past 3 years. i just loved my bro's reply: "oh that's easy, just go into any eyeglass shop and get it done lor" thanks for the info mike.
well in the end i ended up going with allen and florence to serramonte to the eyeglass shop there, since i remembered that the day before florence mentioned to me that allen was gonna go shop for his glasses. it's good to find company :). didn't get much out from there, the information the guy at the shop gave wasn't that helpful. and the eyeglasses he was wearing was weird looking too... nope not for me. so i got home and found my old pair of glasses just now and i think i'll just fix the paddings that had broken off somehow, the part that rest on the nose bridge... at least for now, till i see what i can do next. i gotta do it soon if not it'll cut into my skin which really hurts, or i'll just be quite blind. haha i love it when i can find ways to get around stuff :) usually not for long though.
i love today too since i cooked a super simple yet healthy dinner! was starving and then i was so full.... so decided to get up and walk and that's when i took the recycling bins out. oh back to the beginning.
bumming and lazing around are tiring me out. and i mean tiring me out. i think i'll really need to play some hoops, or jump some rope, or run around tomorrow. oh how about biking around the neighborhood? hmmmph that sure sounds good :)
Friday, July 16, 2004
being a runner, that's me right there
Every Runner Should
Order something besides pasta now and then;
Throw the old shoes away;
Marvel that endorphins are actually legal;
Leave that walkman at home for a change;
Be drenched by a passing car;
On purpose;
Should run in a foreign country;
In traffic;
Pass the guy on the straightaway;
Find the zone;
With the wind at their back;
Dream of chest hitting tape;
Twist an ankle;
Catch the eye of a stranger;
Slow the pace;
Choose to stay the course;
Start;
Stumble;
Fall;
Finish;
Know that a fraction of a second does not make a loser; or a winner… and
Throw the old shoes away!
--author unknown--
Thursday, July 15, 2004
thursday. somehow i felt it’s gonna be a good day. especially with the promise of the start of our basketball league game later this evening. and it sure is. having no obligation to do anything at all gave me the option to either laze my day away in my room sleeping, or to do something that i wanted but usually wasn’t able to because i was so involved in other stuff. i chose the latter. coming home in the morning first thing i noticed was that empty garbage container standing outside the garage, and i was thrilled by it. so happpppy! i don’t know why but there’s always so much trash from our house… everytime i couldn’t wait till the next wednesday evening to take them out so that they would be gone. and for our recycling bins, they were still full from 3 weeks worth of recycling stuff… goodness. and they kept mounting up since there’s always so much stuff we had to recycle. well i’m proud of that. florence and i had to use the chinese way of stepping onto them repeatedly so we could stuff everything into the bins. didn’t take them out yesterday since we found out that they are collected every wednesday morning, from our neighbor next door. i’ve seen him a few times working outside his house, an asian man who seemed to be working hard at something everytime i see him. i said hi to him a couple of times and yesterday he came over with a pit bull puppy to tell us about the trash and recycling schedules, while we were trying to pull out the trash and stuff from the garage. i felt pretty stupid but then it’s good to know the right schedule finally. the pit bull’s only 2 months old and it was so cute! pretty ugly so i guess that’s why it’s cute. it tried to jump towards me and i was patting it and it was trying to play and everything, my heart really went out to it! i so want to have my own doggy.
so back to today, i was hanging out in florence’s room and she was trying to take her nursing test online, while i looked over her bookshelf and found some recipe books. all of a sudden i felt as though i was back in pennsylvania when i started copying recipes into my notebook, all handwritten too! felt like back to those days of having nothing to do in PA where i borrowed recipe books from my brother-in-law and copied them down. and hey i cooked from them too! i remember it was fun. i know i’ll be doing so much more cooking from now on, now i’ve got alittle more time. maybe it’ll be different when work starts in august but then it’s all about prioritizing. nothing gives a better sense of accomplishment when results can be seen from trying and doing and hard work. that goes for a lot of stuff i do.
especially running and basketball.
save that for next time i write, there’s so much i can write about something that i grew up with.
so what can i learn from today?
take out recycling stuff on tuesday evening, trash on wednesday evening.
so back to today, i was hanging out in florence’s room and she was trying to take her nursing test online, while i looked over her bookshelf and found some recipe books. all of a sudden i felt as though i was back in pennsylvania when i started copying recipes into my notebook, all handwritten too! felt like back to those days of having nothing to do in PA where i borrowed recipe books from my brother-in-law and copied them down. and hey i cooked from them too! i remember it was fun. i know i’ll be doing so much more cooking from now on, now i’ve got alittle more time. maybe it’ll be different when work starts in august but then it’s all about prioritizing. nothing gives a better sense of accomplishment when results can be seen from trying and doing and hard work. that goes for a lot of stuff i do.
especially running and basketball.
save that for next time i write, there’s so much i can write about something that i grew up with.
so what can i learn from today?
take out recycling stuff on tuesday evening, trash on wednesday evening.
Monday, July 12, 2004
Noon time on a foggy monday at san francisco. i dropped stella off at SFO about 1/2 hour ago, it was foggy the whole way until we drove past south san francisco where the sun was just welcoming us with its warmth... and the funny thing was that it seemed there was a clear marked line up in the sky between the fog and the sun. wacky.
these 2 weeks have been an amazing time for me. for once i have a friend from my side of the world where i grew up in come visiting me. i was nervous for sure at the beginning, you know the feeling where all of a sudden someone's gonna be with me for a period of time, who was gonna depend on me to show and take care of her in a new place in which i didn't even know whether i could do it right. i guess there's no right or wrong here. i just did the best i could to make everything feel enjoyable. i think i did a fairly decent job.
it was great to hang out with stella again, we've changed so much the past 3 years, but yet at the same time we still had our individual personalities that kept our friendship strong and also ready to kill each other at times. lol. you get what i mean. seeing her 24/7 for 2 weeks was pretty crazy for me at first, ever since i left singapore i did not have company like this. it was really cool though, having her around doing stuff in the day and conversations late into the nights about everything. the past, present, future. the room's super messy but it gave a warmth feeling of something... can't tell what it is. but if it's more than 2 weeks of mess i'll probably go insane, i'm sure stel will too. having 2 people anal about cleaniness can really drive each other nuts.
hmmm i actually feel sad that she's going back home. it feels weird that it's quiet in my room right now. no sound from the tv, the stereo, or her loud mouth, except the clear tappings from my keyboard as i hit each key with my fingers. it's always been like this isn't it, getting together then leaving a place again. but this time it's not me doing it. feels the same though. i thought i've done this so many times that i feel numb about it, but surprisely not. there's always a tingle of sadness, a pinch of desire to get back with family and friends soon.
hmmmph.
i love it though, how circumstances in life make me stronger and not a cry baby. and now i'm blessed with friends i got to know as i keep on going. how lucky am i :)
lunch sounds good!
these 2 weeks have been an amazing time for me. for once i have a friend from my side of the world where i grew up in come visiting me. i was nervous for sure at the beginning, you know the feeling where all of a sudden someone's gonna be with me for a period of time, who was gonna depend on me to show and take care of her in a new place in which i didn't even know whether i could do it right. i guess there's no right or wrong here. i just did the best i could to make everything feel enjoyable. i think i did a fairly decent job.
it was great to hang out with stella again, we've changed so much the past 3 years, but yet at the same time we still had our individual personalities that kept our friendship strong and also ready to kill each other at times. lol. you get what i mean. seeing her 24/7 for 2 weeks was pretty crazy for me at first, ever since i left singapore i did not have company like this. it was really cool though, having her around doing stuff in the day and conversations late into the nights about everything. the past, present, future. the room's super messy but it gave a warmth feeling of something... can't tell what it is. but if it's more than 2 weeks of mess i'll probably go insane, i'm sure stel will too. having 2 people anal about cleaniness can really drive each other nuts.
hmmm i actually feel sad that she's going back home. it feels weird that it's quiet in my room right now. no sound from the tv, the stereo, or her loud mouth, except the clear tappings from my keyboard as i hit each key with my fingers. it's always been like this isn't it, getting together then leaving a place again. but this time it's not me doing it. feels the same though. i thought i've done this so many times that i feel numb about it, but surprisely not. there's always a tingle of sadness, a pinch of desire to get back with family and friends soon.
hmmmph.
i love it though, how circumstances in life make me stronger and not a cry baby. and now i'm blessed with friends i got to know as i keep on going. how lucky am i :)
lunch sounds good!
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
morning
it's past 10am tuesday morning, and compared to the past few days i wake up early today. woke up to a lovely message on my cell, i feel it's gonna be a wonderful day :) i could have continue sleeping for another hour or two, but waking up earlier to spend some time for myself is what i need. this next 30 minutes belong to me only.
having some instant coffee right now, it doesn't taste as good as what i remember... after graduation i feel i am in the transition of a lot of things, and one of them is to have better taste in food... finding myself seeking the move away from instant college stuff to eating better food. it's a good thing.
it’s been 4 days since we came back up from palo alto, and i’ve been hanging out with stella and chia everywhere. so thankful that chia is with us, i’m a total nuthead in planning things out... realize i have that attitude of taking things as they come, taking one day at a time... it must be a side effect from stressing my guts out in everything back home a few years ago. guess i just want to enjoy each day as it is. but alright, i'll work on my planning skills.
so let's see... what have we been doing these past few days?
Saturday – 7/3 - sunny
Headed out to napa valley on Saturday morning, while driving out onto 19th the fog was rolling in like a blanket thrown over the city. or maybe like a water bed that started to leak when the sky drizzled alittle too. i am not so much of a fog lover but then i was glad to see it - an excuse i find to make myself feel better about not playing basketball that morning. the sun was shining brightly at napa though. hate to admit it but I am such a risky driver, nasty at taking turns, inducing car-sickness to stella on the way to Sonoma… lol. She would have yelled at me but I guess she was too sick to do so. It was really fun to be with 2 people who are happy and who made me happy. Happiness is so complex yet so simple.
Sunday – 7/4 - foggy
back at church once again after 2 weeks and wasn’t I glad to be back… I felt at home. It’s july 4th, in the evening we went to jane's place for a BBQ. it was fun, meeting and talking to new people, i love conversations. so what's the big deal about alcohol? i think it brings out something in a person that he or she wants to express but can't really do so without it at times. i think there are many other ways to express oneself's thoughts and emotions, and for me when i need to alcohol comes later in my list. but it does provide a quick way to feel relax. it was a fun party that night, all the people there were having a great time, stella was definitely having a great time ;)
Monday - 7/5 - yesterday
slept till 12 noon. what a pig. but i was tired. went to Muir Woods later in the afternoon and did a 5 mile hike out to the ocean... a gorgeous view. felt like standing at the top of the world looking down at the works of God. the thick layer of fog covered the view of the ocean, enhancing the musical sound of the waves. the trees standing amongst the rolling fog stood really tall, as though they wanna catch a glimpse of the clear sky above. breathtaking. and a good burito to end the evening ;)
stel's still sleeping, i guess we'll have a later start of the day once again. love it!
having some instant coffee right now, it doesn't taste as good as what i remember... after graduation i feel i am in the transition of a lot of things, and one of them is to have better taste in food... finding myself seeking the move away from instant college stuff to eating better food. it's a good thing.
it’s been 4 days since we came back up from palo alto, and i’ve been hanging out with stella and chia everywhere. so thankful that chia is with us, i’m a total nuthead in planning things out... realize i have that attitude of taking things as they come, taking one day at a time... it must be a side effect from stressing my guts out in everything back home a few years ago. guess i just want to enjoy each day as it is. but alright, i'll work on my planning skills.
so let's see... what have we been doing these past few days?
Saturday – 7/3 - sunny
Headed out to napa valley on Saturday morning, while driving out onto 19th the fog was rolling in like a blanket thrown over the city. or maybe like a water bed that started to leak when the sky drizzled alittle too. i am not so much of a fog lover but then i was glad to see it - an excuse i find to make myself feel better about not playing basketball that morning. the sun was shining brightly at napa though. hate to admit it but I am such a risky driver, nasty at taking turns, inducing car-sickness to stella on the way to Sonoma… lol. She would have yelled at me but I guess she was too sick to do so. It was really fun to be with 2 people who are happy and who made me happy. Happiness is so complex yet so simple.
Sunday – 7/4 - foggy
back at church once again after 2 weeks and wasn’t I glad to be back… I felt at home. It’s july 4th, in the evening we went to jane's place for a BBQ. it was fun, meeting and talking to new people, i love conversations. so what's the big deal about alcohol? i think it brings out something in a person that he or she wants to express but can't really do so without it at times. i think there are many other ways to express oneself's thoughts and emotions, and for me when i need to alcohol comes later in my list. but it does provide a quick way to feel relax. it was a fun party that night, all the people there were having a great time, stella was definitely having a great time ;)
Monday - 7/5 - yesterday
slept till 12 noon. what a pig. but i was tired. went to Muir Woods later in the afternoon and did a 5 mile hike out to the ocean... a gorgeous view. felt like standing at the top of the world looking down at the works of God. the thick layer of fog covered the view of the ocean, enhancing the musical sound of the waves. the trees standing amongst the rolling fog stood really tall, as though they wanna catch a glimpse of the clear sky above. breathtaking. and a good burito to end the evening ;)
stel's still sleeping, i guess we'll have a later start of the day once again. love it!
Friday, July 02, 2004
Dreaming of you - Selena
can't get to sleep still, so i'm at the comp once again. wish i have my laptop here so i can play this favorite
***
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
thinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see me and I
wonder if you know I'm there (am I there, am I?)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close but so far
all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day (wait for the day)
to take the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Corazon
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
Como te necesito
Mi amor, como te extrano
(translation:
Sweetheart
I can't stop thinking of you
How I need you
My love, how I miss you)
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
that you came up to me and said I love you
I love you too
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow (till tomorrow) and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
Dreaming with you endlessly
***
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I wish on a star that somewhere you are
thinking of me too
Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Wonder if you ever see me and I
wonder if you know I'm there (am I there, am I?)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
would you even care?
I just wanna hold you close but so far
all I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day (wait for the day)
to take the courage to say how much I love you
Yes I do
I'll be dreaming of you tonight
Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room dreaming about you and me
Corazon
No puedo dejar de pensar en ti
Como te necesito
Mi amor, como te extrano
(translation:
Sweetheart
I can't stop thinking of you
How I need you
My love, how I miss you)
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe
that you came up to me and said I love you
I love you too
Now I'm dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow (till tomorrow) and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
than here in my room
Dreaming with you endlessly
Thursday, July 01, 2004
Once again
it's been some time since i last wrote. hmmmm 1 1/2 years? since the start of 2003. yay. yay~~!!! i feel good about this.
so much stuff has happened, lots and lots. alright i'll stop being cheesy here. stella is here with me! she came over from singapore to SF on Sunday and the feeling was really weird. good weird. a very exciting kind of weird! the last time i saw her was 3 years ago, when i was back in Singapore... and to think these 3 years the friendship between us didn't damper but instead strengthen. darn it's expensive too, with all those phone bills. but it's nothing compared to this bond we have :) after 3 years we still click so well - she's still loud and noisy and i'm still anal in our own ways.
so yea, have been going crazy shopping with her these few days, i love it! waking up late each morning and knowing someone is doing the same thing, well in this case like stel, makes me feel so much better about myself. have been spending alot of time with my aunt and josephine and anita too, and everyday is the same yet different. know what i mean? when you realize that happiness is in the simplest things you can ever find - people who love you and you love in return, all that irony of planning to do everything but finding joy in doing nothing. alright maybe that's subjective but it's working for me.
geeee writer's block. is that what it is? all of a sudden i am not sure of what to write. or maybe it's because i have so much inside i want to say that i don't know what to say. well... cut it short, i'm happy :) graduated, got a job, am still playing ball... i'm really happy! :) San Francisco has people and things for me to go back to. it's been quite some time, away from home, but i am starting to find something special in somewhere once again.
game time with anita!
so much stuff has happened, lots and lots. alright i'll stop being cheesy here. stella is here with me! she came over from singapore to SF on Sunday and the feeling was really weird. good weird. a very exciting kind of weird! the last time i saw her was 3 years ago, when i was back in Singapore... and to think these 3 years the friendship between us didn't damper but instead strengthen. darn it's expensive too, with all those phone bills. but it's nothing compared to this bond we have :) after 3 years we still click so well - she's still loud and noisy and i'm still anal in our own ways.
so yea, have been going crazy shopping with her these few days, i love it! waking up late each morning and knowing someone is doing the same thing, well in this case like stel, makes me feel so much better about myself. have been spending alot of time with my aunt and josephine and anita too, and everyday is the same yet different. know what i mean? when you realize that happiness is in the simplest things you can ever find - people who love you and you love in return, all that irony of planning to do everything but finding joy in doing nothing. alright maybe that's subjective but it's working for me.
geeee writer's block. is that what it is? all of a sudden i am not sure of what to write. or maybe it's because i have so much inside i want to say that i don't know what to say. well... cut it short, i'm happy :) graduated, got a job, am still playing ball... i'm really happy! :) San Francisco has people and things for me to go back to. it's been quite some time, away from home, but i am starting to find something special in somewhere once again.
game time with anita!
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