thoughts

driving down 101
i saw a plane sailing in the sky
and wonder
what the people inside are thinking
are some going after something?
are some running away from somewhere
are some happy? are some tearing?
or are some emotionless

are they coming back home?
are they beginning a new life?
are there loved ones awaiting for them?
or maybe everything will be a breath of fresh air

thoughts.

love

yesterday at church I learned something which i've forgotten for a looooooooong time...

you cannot give away something you don't have.

so if i don't have love, specifically God's love, how can i give it away?

i need to learn how to let it stay inside my heart.

Cleared!!

yesterday was a great day...... i'm cleared by my doctor to do whatever i want to do with my knee!! (although he did hint nothing crazy) i'm discharged after 7 1/2 months since the day of my surgery... it was such an exciting and breathless feeling but at the same time i'm at a little loss too.... no more doctor and PT? feel somewhat scary. no more going to someone if i do something stupid... but then i feel a new sense of responsibility and maturity about taking care of my body. not wanting to put my joints through another trauma is definitely a big part. accidents are out there, but at least i'll do my best to protect myself.....

wow. excited. scary. happy. hmmph.

first day of school..... again

the last time i stepped onto a college campus as a student was 2.5 years ago... and am back again today. the feeling's weird, especially now i feel older and with a ring on my finger and a dog waiting for me at home, it's just different compared to before where i am just by myself and myself only. but i survived the first day, with the chem lab instructor saying i did a good job with the titration, so i think i'm alright.

TRANSITION. the best word to describe what's going on with me this year. being a student. being a sweetie to my sweetie. balancing work and doggie with the rest. volunteering again in the children's ministry. all these stuff, with no guarantee at the end of it to see if i'll reach my goal of PT school. but then again, i don't live in the future. i live right now. maybe right now wasn't exactly the way i thought would turn out to be a few years ago. but then again, life is unpredictable, and i quite like my life right now.

so like my fav phrase in million dollar baby - i think i did alright.

the Queen's tea

what a lovely place... i felt like a Queen! thanks to you gals for such a lovely surprise lunch, i felt connected back to my British roots again (well it's more of that teeny weeny amount of colonized roots). everything was awesome, the food, the tea, and people, the conversations, the atmosphere, and of course the gifts... i will just say i'll do my best to put everything into good use one way or the other... no promises though ;)

the cute little lovely tea house!


and the tea and food are superb!

1 month and 1 day

looking at ceremony music right now.... and suddenly i feel all sorts of creepy crawlies crawling all around in my stomach... it's the weirdest feeling ever. and trying to decide between 2 pieces of music is creating more emotions... arghhh... calling stel helps alittle but still, i can't sleep. everyone is gonna focus on us in 1 month's time. the aisle walking picture in my mind is still blurry but getting clearer, and i'm freaking out. arghh. help. i need to breathe.

Labor-free weekend...?

so it's towards the end of the last long weekend before thanksgiving... another 2.5 hours before the next day begins at 12am. i was both ready and not-so-ready on the past friday for the weekend... due to the GRE exam which i took on Sat.... and as expected, i was off to a shitty start. i was having the before-the-game-nervousness on the way to the test site, even with my bro's prayers and cl's hugs and kisses they couldn't quite calm the jiggery feelings dancing all inside me. long story short, i had my game face on and did the whole darn test, and the immediate results bounced back to hit my face flat. the verbal scores were lower than expected while the quantitative scores were the other way round.... why? why? why??!?!? i couldn't even bear to open my eyes wide to look at them, and that little peek i took threw me off. if only they average it out!!! arghh........... i thought i did the verbal part well too. shucks..... now i probably have to retake it again...

so i was the ultimate bi-ach that whole day.... everything and everyone annoyed me and i yelled so much that it was like the worst pms mutiply by a hundred times. really.

but sunday was good. the 3 of us plus doggy drove to santa cruz, ate some tasteless burritos when we couldn't find the original burger place we had in mind, walked the broadway strip with all the amusement park stuff with my bro and towards the end of it, i convinced him to play this game where you shoot water from this gun at the target so this platform thing will rise and you compete with a whole row of people so if your platform touches the top first you win. At first we were the only 2 people so i thought it's great since if 1 of us lose the other will still win. but when it was about to start 6 other kids sat down and i was like darn it.... so we had to compete with them but my bro actually win in the end.... it's so fun to win!!! and he got this plush dragon:

i feel like a kid again!!

and today is doing nothing... went to dim sum and then grocery shopping, car wash and fillmore walk to get present for bro's gf. the best thing we did was cooking dinner! our mommy will be so proud of us *tears*. eating nasty food outside like that bubble zone place makes me appreciate homecook meals SOOooOOo much more.... now with just a good night's sleep i'll be ready for another crazy week...