emotions

on a break from writing a paper for my psyc class. have been trying to put my thoughts and information i got from interviewing others (thank you so much u guys for providing me with all the info i need) in words, but it's much more difficult than i thought. much much more difficult.

i think today is the first time where i can start writing with a sounder mind without much distractions on what had happened. writing about this certain someone. when i first reviewed on our previous conversations, emotions ran high inside me and i didn't know how i would be able to pull together a paper that is concrete and informational based on the experience. i didn't know his death would affect me more than i thought. there were a lot of "what if"s. some regrets. some tears. sometimes, i wished the whole thing was just unreal. if someone asked me whether i would go back and changed what i would have done, i would say yes.

i want to say sorry a hundred times, a thousand times. i hope this paper will be a closure. please let it be.