i love this movie so much i finally bought it... my love for alan rickman is probably a big contributor of my action, but there's something more about this movie. as the title says - love actually.
i just watched it again for the second time ever (first time was maybe a year or so ago when i rented it from blockbuster), and it made me think throughout and after the film. love seen in all aspects of life. across continents and cultures. every little story within the big story itself sent a subtle yet powerful message of love in various forms. some were sad others were happy, but they all came down to love. i'm not gonna summarize the movie here but it did start off 5 weeks before christmas, which surprisingly, coincided with the timing at present. and i love christmas. and that made me ponder more on this wondrous season.
whatever it is, whatever it is.
love is all around, i believe.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
slowing down
i'm never good at writing blogs, or keeping it updated. but when i do, it's usually because something significant, something happy, sad, memorable, exciting etc happened.
today it's because i have a quiet moment.
had class early in the morning, and after that busied myself driving to 3 different schools getting transcripts sent on time. then i got something to eat, tried studying alittle and decided to head home when i realized i was reading the same paragraph for the 10th time trying to understand it.
it was then when i drove by ocean beach. if it was like any other day i would have driven straight home within the shortest amount of time. however, today the crashing waves kept catching my eye while i was driving the stretch of great highway. found myself struggling with the decision to keep driving or to pull over for a couple seconds, and finally i made a left turn and pulled into the parking lot right by the beach. i stepped out of the car, walked to the rocky side wall that separated the beach and the pavement and propped my elbows up on it, carefully avoiding all the bird poo splattered all over the top. hunched over i dropped my chin on my hands and stood there for some mins.
it was a clear cool day and the sun was in my eyes. my hair was caught in the wind and i kept looking out to the ocean. it reminded me alittle of the beach in nicaragua. a person was running on the beach and that reminded me of my track trainings back in crescent. the only thing i heard was the roarings of the ocean, and the only thing i smelt was the sea. i was thinking about nothing really, and then i realized maybe it's Him calling me to slow down. i didn't feel fast these days, just alot of things to do that i kept doing and they kept coming back for me to do. and it was this cycle i was caught in, still am. but standing there, i felt good, pressure lifting off my shoulders literally and i remembered being thankful for being able to stop by the ocean in the middle of the day, sensing. it almost seemed like the coziness of being covered by a big soft comforter, only, this seemed alittle better.
indulging and indulging. moments after i finally pulled my shoulders back and gave myself a lazy stretch. i felt ready to go home, to continue with my busyness.
i thank Him for meeting me through His creation.
today it's because i have a quiet moment.
had class early in the morning, and after that busied myself driving to 3 different schools getting transcripts sent on time. then i got something to eat, tried studying alittle and decided to head home when i realized i was reading the same paragraph for the 10th time trying to understand it.
it was then when i drove by ocean beach. if it was like any other day i would have driven straight home within the shortest amount of time. however, today the crashing waves kept catching my eye while i was driving the stretch of great highway. found myself struggling with the decision to keep driving or to pull over for a couple seconds, and finally i made a left turn and pulled into the parking lot right by the beach. i stepped out of the car, walked to the rocky side wall that separated the beach and the pavement and propped my elbows up on it, carefully avoiding all the bird poo splattered all over the top. hunched over i dropped my chin on my hands and stood there for some mins.
it was a clear cool day and the sun was in my eyes. my hair was caught in the wind and i kept looking out to the ocean. it reminded me alittle of the beach in nicaragua. a person was running on the beach and that reminded me of my track trainings back in crescent. the only thing i heard was the roarings of the ocean, and the only thing i smelt was the sea. i was thinking about nothing really, and then i realized maybe it's Him calling me to slow down. i didn't feel fast these days, just alot of things to do that i kept doing and they kept coming back for me to do. and it was this cycle i was caught in, still am. but standing there, i felt good, pressure lifting off my shoulders literally and i remembered being thankful for being able to stop by the ocean in the middle of the day, sensing. it almost seemed like the coziness of being covered by a big soft comforter, only, this seemed alittle better.
indulging and indulging. moments after i finally pulled my shoulders back and gave myself a lazy stretch. i felt ready to go home, to continue with my busyness.
i thank Him for meeting me through His creation.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Sense of Happiness
it's been 5 weeks since my knee surgery... and i'm walking so much better and being so much more functional than the first time.
last year's today i had everyone who loved me and whom i love come to our wedding... from everywhere around the globe. it was a very beautiful day and one of the best moment in my life. and it's been a year already.
last night i was able to talk on the phone with my best friend in Nicaragua, i still can't quite believe it and i'm so thankful for phone cards and internet.
i have a growing list of friends whom i can chill with, old friends whom i keep in touch with.
my mom calls periodically to chat with me.
my bro likes to have lunch with me on Fridays.
i am working on my goals.
sometimes things get stressful, and that's when i say bleh.
but really, i'm really, really happy.
last year's today i had everyone who loved me and whom i love come to our wedding... from everywhere around the globe. it was a very beautiful day and one of the best moment in my life. and it's been a year already.
last night i was able to talk on the phone with my best friend in Nicaragua, i still can't quite believe it and i'm so thankful for phone cards and internet.
i have a growing list of friends whom i can chill with, old friends whom i keep in touch with.
my mom calls periodically to chat with me.
my bro likes to have lunch with me on Fridays.
i am working on my goals.
sometimes things get stressful, and that's when i say bleh.
but really, i'm really, really happy.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Nicaragua 2007
Dear Family and Friends,
I came back to
This trip is one of the best things that ever happened to me. Serving alongside with 18 other amazing people from my team, I watched and interacted with these children, whom without parents, all had much love to give and ready to receive love. Their circumstances did not make them victims but as individuals who love God and their friends, disciplined and hardworking in their schoolwork and chores. I also made strong connections with some of the staff at the orphanages and was amazed by the humility they had with their works. Many places in
I would like to thank you for your encouragement, prayers and financial contributions for me throughout this whole time. You have made this happen for me and I truly appreciate all your support and love. With my heart still in
Gracias y el dios bendice,
Connie
Monday, July 30, 2007
I hereby announce...
that from the very first till the final book which I was done reading on past Thurs
I WAS AND STILL AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE A SNAPE FAN
it helps to take my mind off my knee and my laptop which i spilled water all over the keyboard.
I WAS AND STILL AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE A SNAPE FAN
it helps to take my mind off my knee and my laptop which i spilled water all over the keyboard.
Monday, July 09, 2007
man it's painful
everything
as if you climb the mountain and you get to the top and manage to finally take that first breath of fresh air
and then the next second you are thrown right down to the bottom of the cliff
don't tell me it's ok, that it'll be fine
shut up cause i don't wanna hear that
if you didn't go through pain don't come telling me things you don't know
just need to be quiet
everything
as if you climb the mountain and you get to the top and manage to finally take that first breath of fresh air
and then the next second you are thrown right down to the bottom of the cliff
don't tell me it's ok, that it'll be fine
shut up cause i don't wanna hear that
if you didn't go through pain don't come telling me things you don't know
just need to be quiet
Saturday, June 16, 2007
1 year
1 year ago today on june 16, i was going into the outpatient hospital on post street early in the morning and coming out 2 hours later in a half-asleep state, a huge bandage wrapped around my left knee covered with a big white stocking type of sock pulled up all the way to my thigh, locked in a tight leg brace. i was bounded to the couch during the day and to the bed at night, incapable of the movements i had always taken for granted. the smallest movements caused the biggest pain. knee surgery was the easy part, the tough part is getting myself on my feet again after that, literally.
took me 1 week to get in and out of the shower myself.
took me 3 weeks to perform a straight leg raise.
took me 4 weeks to walk without crutches or a knee brace.
took me 8 months to finish physical therapy.
took me 10 months to start playing alittle bit of basketball.
1 year later today, i look back on the past year and realize this experience has changed and shaped me. i'm all better, able to play ball games on the court again which i did today, and it felt great shooting and driving in. still lost alot of confidence in certain movements and there's still nagging pains in the knee, but nothing like before. i tell people that i will never want to have another experience like this, but then again i will not want to trade this experience for anything else. it has taught me humility, taught me perseverance, taught me hope and hard work. it has definitely taught me pain from a patient's view, and understanding pain by experiencing it is the best lesson i can ever learn. it taught me compassion in everyday life, and i'm looking forward to applying it in my future professional growth.
a year ago when i first learned about the torn ACL and menicus, i questioned why it had to be me. why at the time when i was playing my best game. a year later i finally realized God has an answer for everything. it's just a matter of God's time.
took me 1 week to get in and out of the shower myself.
took me 3 weeks to perform a straight leg raise.
took me 4 weeks to walk without crutches or a knee brace.
took me 8 months to finish physical therapy.
took me 10 months to start playing alittle bit of basketball.
1 year later today, i look back on the past year and realize this experience has changed and shaped me. i'm all better, able to play ball games on the court again which i did today, and it felt great shooting and driving in. still lost alot of confidence in certain movements and there's still nagging pains in the knee, but nothing like before. i tell people that i will never want to have another experience like this, but then again i will not want to trade this experience for anything else. it has taught me humility, taught me perseverance, taught me hope and hard work. it has definitely taught me pain from a patient's view, and understanding pain by experiencing it is the best lesson i can ever learn. it taught me compassion in everyday life, and i'm looking forward to applying it in my future professional growth.
a year ago when i first learned about the torn ACL and menicus, i questioned why it had to be me. why at the time when i was playing my best game. a year later i finally realized God has an answer for everything. it's just a matter of God's time.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
WOAHHHOAHHOAHHAHAH!!!!!
LET'S GO WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET'S GO WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET'S GO WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET'S GO WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LET'S GO WARRIORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-adrenaline pump-
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Lord have mercy
-song of my heart-
Jesus, I've forgotten the words that You have spoken
Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim
With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom
Forgive me for my unbelief
Renew the fire again
Chorus
Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me
Repeat
I have built an altar where I worship things of men
I have taken journeys that have drawn me far from You
Now I am returning to Your mercies ever flowing
Pardon my transgressions
Help me love You again
Repeat Chorus
I have longed to know You and Your tender mercies
Like a river of forgiveness ever flowing without end
I bow my heart before You in the goodness of Your presence
Your grace forever shining
Like a beacon in the night
Michael W. Smith (Amy Grant)
Jesus, I've forgotten the words that You have spoken
Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim
With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom
Forgive me for my unbelief
Renew the fire again
Chorus
Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me
Repeat
I have built an altar where I worship things of men
I have taken journeys that have drawn me far from You
Now I am returning to Your mercies ever flowing
Pardon my transgressions
Help me love You again
Repeat Chorus
I have longed to know You and Your tender mercies
Like a river of forgiveness ever flowing without end
I bow my heart before You in the goodness of Your presence
Your grace forever shining
Like a beacon in the night
Michael W. Smith (Amy Grant)
blah blah blah
i want to update my blog with this new post, but the thing is i don't know what to write. or i don't know where to start. or whether it's interesting. i don't want to feel like writing an essay 'cause i just crammed out one yesterday. feels like there's so much to do but i'm not getting much done (as you can see i'm writing this blog instead of doing my work). aiyahyah.
so 4 more weeks to school... 6 exams, 1 quiz, plus a whole bunch of labs and lectures before the final exams. i'm not too worried now, i mean i still stress out before all those but realizing that i've survived the ones before these, i think i'll come out in one piece. it's keeping myself going and focused when 1/2 the class dropped the subject.
of course there's summer school... and the class i wanted to take is already filled up. it's really annoying since every semester it's the same thing....! BIG sigh.
one happy thing is, i finally can play hoops without pain in my knee :) last week i played in this league 3 games in a row, my first games back 10 months since the surgery, and we won everything :) what a great start.
so 4 more weeks to school... 6 exams, 1 quiz, plus a whole bunch of labs and lectures before the final exams. i'm not too worried now, i mean i still stress out before all those but realizing that i've survived the ones before these, i think i'll come out in one piece. it's keeping myself going and focused when 1/2 the class dropped the subject.
of course there's summer school... and the class i wanted to take is already filled up. it's really annoying since every semester it's the same thing....! BIG sigh.
one happy thing is, i finally can play hoops without pain in my knee :) last week i played in this league 3 games in a row, my first games back 10 months since the surgery, and we won everything :) what a great start.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
emotions
on a break from writing a paper for my psyc class. have been trying to put my thoughts and information i got from interviewing others (thank you so much u guys for providing me with all the info i need) in words, but it's much more difficult than i thought. much much more difficult.
i think today is the first time where i can start writing with a sounder mind without much distractions on what had happened. writing about this certain someone. when i first reviewed on our previous conversations, emotions ran high inside me and i didn't know how i would be able to pull together a paper that is concrete and informational based on the experience. i didn't know his death would affect me more than i thought. there were a lot of "what if"s. some regrets. some tears. sometimes, i wished the whole thing was just unreal. if someone asked me whether i would go back and changed what i would have done, i would say yes.
i want to say sorry a hundred times, a thousand times. i hope this paper will be a closure. please let it be.
i think today is the first time where i can start writing with a sounder mind without much distractions on what had happened. writing about this certain someone. when i first reviewed on our previous conversations, emotions ran high inside me and i didn't know how i would be able to pull together a paper that is concrete and informational based on the experience. i didn't know his death would affect me more than i thought. there were a lot of "what if"s. some regrets. some tears. sometimes, i wished the whole thing was just unreal. if someone asked me whether i would go back and changed what i would have done, i would say yes.
i want to say sorry a hundred times, a thousand times. i hope this paper will be a closure. please let it be.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
thoughts
driving down 101
i saw a plane sailing in the sky
and wonder
what the people inside are thinking
are some going after something?
are some running away from somewhere
are some happy? are some tearing?
or are some emotionless
are they coming back home?
are they beginning a new life?
are there loved ones awaiting for them?
or maybe everything will be a breath of fresh air
thoughts.
i saw a plane sailing in the sky
and wonder
what the people inside are thinking
are some going after something?
are some running away from somewhere
are some happy? are some tearing?
or are some emotionless
are they coming back home?
are they beginning a new life?
are there loved ones awaiting for them?
or maybe everything will be a breath of fresh air
thoughts.
Monday, March 05, 2007
love
yesterday at church I learned something which i've forgotten for a looooooooong time...
you cannot give away something you don't have.
so if i don't have love, specifically God's love, how can i give it away?
i need to learn how to let it stay inside my heart.
you cannot give away something you don't have.
so if i don't have love, specifically God's love, how can i give it away?
i need to learn how to let it stay inside my heart.
Friday, February 02, 2007
Cleared!!
yesterday was a great day...... i'm cleared by my doctor to do whatever i want to do with my knee!! (although he did hint nothing crazy) i'm discharged after 7 1/2 months since the day of my surgery... it was such an exciting and breathless feeling but at the same time i'm at a little loss too.... no more doctor and PT? feel somewhat scary. no more going to someone if i do something stupid... but then i feel a new sense of responsibility and maturity about taking care of my body. not wanting to put my joints through another trauma is definitely a big part. accidents are out there, but at least i'll do my best to protect myself.....
wow. excited. scary. happy. hmmph.
wow. excited. scary. happy. hmmph.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
first day of school..... again
the last time i stepped onto a college campus as a student was 2.5 years ago... and am back again today. the feeling's weird, especially now i feel older and with a ring on my finger and a dog waiting for me at home, it's just different compared to before where i am just by myself and myself only. but i survived the first day, with the chem lab instructor saying i did a good job with the titration, so i think i'm alright.
TRANSITION. the best word to describe what's going on with me this year. being a student. being a sweetie to my sweetie. balancing work and doggie with the rest. volunteering again in the children's ministry. all these stuff, with no guarantee at the end of it to see if i'll reach my goal of PT school. but then again, i don't live in the future. i live right now. maybe right now wasn't exactly the way i thought would turn out to be a few years ago. but then again, life is unpredictable, and i quite like my life right now.
so like my fav phrase in million dollar baby - i think i did alright.
TRANSITION. the best word to describe what's going on with me this year. being a student. being a sweetie to my sweetie. balancing work and doggie with the rest. volunteering again in the children's ministry. all these stuff, with no guarantee at the end of it to see if i'll reach my goal of PT school. but then again, i don't live in the future. i live right now. maybe right now wasn't exactly the way i thought would turn out to be a few years ago. but then again, life is unpredictable, and i quite like my life right now.
so like my fav phrase in million dollar baby - i think i did alright.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
the Queen's tea
what a lovely place... i felt like a Queen! thanks to you gals for such a lovely surprise lunch, i felt connected back to my British roots again (well it's more of that teeny weeny amount of colonized roots). everything was awesome, the food, the tea, and people, the conversations, the atmosphere, and of course the gifts... i will just say i'll do my best to put everything into good use one way or the other... no promises though ;)
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
1 month and 1 day
looking at ceremony music right now.... and suddenly i feel all sorts of creepy crawlies crawling all around in my stomach... it's the weirdest feeling ever. and trying to decide between 2 pieces of music is creating more emotions... arghhh... calling stel helps alittle but still, i can't sleep. everyone is gonna focus on us in 1 month's time. the aisle walking picture in my mind is still blurry but getting clearer, and i'm freaking out. arghh. help. i need to breathe.
Monday, September 04, 2006
Labor-free weekend...?
so it's towards the end of the last long weekend before thanksgiving... another 2.5 hours before the next day begins at 12am. i was both ready and not-so-ready on the past friday for the weekend... due to the GRE exam which i took on Sat.... and as expected, i was off to a shitty start. i was having the before-the-game-nervousness on the way to the test site, even with my bro's prayers and cl's hugs and kisses they couldn't quite calm the jiggery feelings dancing all inside me. long story short, i had my game face on and did the whole darn test, and the immediate results bounced back to hit my face flat. the verbal scores were lower than expected while the quantitative scores were the other way round.... why? why? why??!?!? i couldn't even bear to open my eyes wide to look at them, and that little peek i took threw me off. if only they average it out!!! arghh........... i thought i did the verbal part well too. shucks..... now i probably have to retake it again...
so i was the ultimate bi-ach that whole day.... everything and everyone annoyed me and i yelled so much that it was like the worst pms mutiply by a hundred times. really.
but sunday was good. the 3 of us plus doggy drove to santa cruz, ate some tasteless burritos when we couldn't find the original burger place we had in mind, walked the broadway strip with all the amusement park stuff with my bro and towards the end of it, i convinced him to play this game where you shoot water from this gun at the target so this platform thing will rise and you compete with a whole row of people so if your platform touches the top first you win. At first we were the only 2 people so i thought it's great since if 1 of us lose the other will still win. but when it was about to start 6 other kids sat down and i was like darn it.... so we had to compete with them but my bro actually win in the end.... it's so fun to win!!! and he got this plush dragon:
i feel like a kid again!!
and today is doing nothing... went to dim sum and then grocery shopping, car wash and fillmore walk to get present for bro's gf. the best thing we did was cooking dinner! our mommy will be so proud of us *tears*. eating nasty food outside like that bubble zone place makes me appreciate homecook meals SOOooOOo much more.... now with just a good night's sleep i'll be ready for another crazy week...
so i was the ultimate bi-ach that whole day.... everything and everyone annoyed me and i yelled so much that it was like the worst pms mutiply by a hundred times. really.
but sunday was good. the 3 of us plus doggy drove to santa cruz, ate some tasteless burritos when we couldn't find the original burger place we had in mind, walked the broadway strip with all the amusement park stuff with my bro and towards the end of it, i convinced him to play this game where you shoot water from this gun at the target so this platform thing will rise and you compete with a whole row of people so if your platform touches the top first you win. At first we were the only 2 people so i thought it's great since if 1 of us lose the other will still win. but when it was about to start 6 other kids sat down and i was like darn it.... so we had to compete with them but my bro actually win in the end.... it's so fun to win!!! and he got this plush dragon:
i feel like a kid again!!and today is doing nothing... went to dim sum and then grocery shopping, car wash and fillmore walk to get present for bro's gf. the best thing we did was cooking dinner! our mommy will be so proud of us *tears*. eating nasty food outside like that bubble zone place makes me appreciate homecook meals SOOooOOo much more.... now with just a good night's sleep i'll be ready for another crazy week...
Monday, August 21, 2006
OMGoodness I'm SOOO stupid
after writing a whole post and uploading its pic and getting all excited, i finally put on my new jordan mach III and guess what..... they are actually FOOTBALL SHOES.
omg omg omg. i feel sooooooooo stupid!!!!!!!! and i thought they are basketball shoes because some idiotic staff has put that shoe among all the basketball shoes on the rack!! and jordan didn't play any football so why the heck is he putting his name on the darn football shoes?!!?! arghhh..... of course i found out after looking at this cool tag that came with the shoes and recognized none of the big beefy dudes on there... only when cl pointed out "jordan football" on the bottom of the shoes did i realize.... ARGHH...... feel cheated of my joy....
i guess i'll return them this weekend. darn it. stupid jordan. i'm glad my battleground (pic below) is still number 1 in my heart.
mine's all black! (>.<)
omg omg omg. i feel sooooooooo stupid!!!!!!!! and i thought they are basketball shoes because some idiotic staff has put that shoe among all the basketball shoes on the rack!! and jordan didn't play any football so why the heck is he putting his name on the darn football shoes?!!?! arghhh..... of course i found out after looking at this cool tag that came with the shoes and recognized none of the big beefy dudes on there... only when cl pointed out "jordan football" on the bottom of the shoes did i realize.... ARGHH...... feel cheated of my joy....
i guess i'll return them this weekend. darn it. stupid jordan. i'm glad my battleground (pic below) is still number 1 in my heart.
mine's all black! (>.<)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)